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Workplace stress can manifest as physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, indigestion, insomnia, and anxiety. However, the good news is that managing stress can significantly improve your productivity and overall well-being. One effective technique is defusing thoughts that can lead to exasperating stress, offering a path to relief and a more enjoyable work experience.

Research has shown that quietening the mind requires repetition and practice of various techniques to change thinking patterns. Negative or obsessive thoughts can increase stress and be unhelpful or destructive to an individual’s well-being. The exercises can use methods of visualisation and thought awareness to assist in being present. This can help to recharge energy, taking time out or simply to feel refreshed. Taking a few big deep breaths can be helpful to relax the mind. Here are some simple exercises that can be incorporated into everyday life.

Thought patterns

Remember, you have the power to change your thought patterns. Practice shifting negative thinking into positive by saying to yourself:

"In this moment, if everything was going to feel perfect exactly the way it is, how would that feel? How would I see things now, and what would I be telling myself? What would happen if I imagined that exactly what is happening at the moment is something that I planned?”

Instead of feeling like things are happening to you, imagine that you are in control, and it is your choice the way things are happening. This shift in perspective can be empowering and can help you manage stress more effectively.

Stress can be exaggerated when we think about things that will never happen. Ask yourself:

“How in this moment can I focus on what is happening in the here and now? Because it is unlikely that any of the thoughts I am having will ever happen. Perhaps I can trust myself that I can deal with whatever it is when the time is needed.”

Taste exercise

Sit at a desk with a cup of tea, coffee, or juice, initially smelling the aroma or scent as you take big breaths and then look at the colour of the beverage. Take a sip as if it is the first time in your life that you are tasting the beverage. Allow your thoughts to concentrate on the experience, making it as enjoyable as possible. This exercise can easily be used in the same capacity as when you eat.

Visualisation exercise

Take three big deep breaths as you close your eyes, and as you breathe in, imagine a square as you count to five, visualising the line at the top; hold your breath for a count of five, visualising the sideline and then continue imagining the lines of the square as you breathe for counts of five.

For more information or assistance, call us on 1800 818 728.

Stress is a natural state that our minds and bodies adopt to prepare for the unexpected. Some stress can be good: It helps us prepare for a big task and protects against imminent threats. However, constant stress is exhausting and wears on our physical and emotional health.

We show stress in four ways:

• Physically: feeling the rush of adrenaline, headaches, muscle tension.
• Emotionally: becoming snappy or teary with little provocation; losing our confidence and vitality.
• Cognitively: black-and-white thinking; catastrophising and dwelling on unhealthy thoughts; indecision.
• Behaviourally: avoiding people and places; increasing our drinking; eating comfort food or not eating at all; insomnia.

By identifying indicators that we are stressed, we develop self-awareness that allows us to intervene before we feel overwhelmed.

Download our 10 Tips for Handling Stress here for a reset, or if you are feeling overwhelmed, book an appointment on 1800 650 204.

Workplace stress can present in physical symptoms and manifest as fatigue, headaches, indigestion, insomnia and anxiety. Managing stress can be a key factor in feeling more productive and enjoying your work. Here are some tips to help you manage your stress levels:

Work out your priorities
Write them down each morning, rank them and take one thing at a time. Include the important people in your life as priorities and attend to these relationships. Make tasks achievable.

Prioritise relaxation and exercise
Set aside time each day for recreation and exercise. These are not optional extras for handling stress, they are essential. Gentle exercises such as walking, swimming, cycling, meditation, yoga, dance and even hobbies are all excellent. Find what suits you best.

Practice saying ‘no’
If you feel overloaded, think hard before committing to other people’s expectations. Talk this over with someone you trust. Practice saying “Not immediately, but next hour/day/week/month” to buy yourself time.

Accept that change is a part of life
Make allowances for the fact that stress can make you more sensitive in reacting to others. Discuss your feelings with the person responsible for your agitation. If it’s impossible to talk it out, do some physical activity at the end of the working day to relieve tensions.

Don’t dwell on the past
Feelings of guilt, remorse and regret cannot change the past, they sap your energy and make the present difficult. Make an effort to do something to change your mood when you feel yourself drifting into regrets about past actions (e.g activity you enjoy). Learn from it and have strategies in place for next time. Learn to forgive yourself.

Don’t let people rush you
Allow extra time for the unexpected, slow down your pace, slow down your breathing. If you are frantic, you actually reduce your efficiency at work.

Identify your stress situations
Make a list of events that leave you emotionally drained, with ways to reduce the stress for each. When they occur, use them as an opportunity to practise stress relief. Keep notes on what works.

Learn to “reframe” statements
It is a waste of time and energy to be oversensitive to imagined insults, innuendo or sarcasm. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Talk over the situation with someone. They may have another spin on what was said.

Practice Mindfulness
This is where you let your frantic thinking be put aside and notice the present moment, without making any judgments, good or bad. Try this; pause for a moment, look around and notice five things you can see. Name them. Notice five things you can hear. Name them. Notice five things you can feel in contact with your body. Name them.

Enjoy Circuit Breakers
Reduce stress by taking breaks, talk to someone, have a bath, laugh regularly, read for pleasure or even learn something new (language/musical instrument etc).

For more information or assistance, contact us on 1800 650 204.

Traumatic events impact lives physically and psychologically, creating intense emotional distress for individuals, families, and whole communities. Organisations play a vital and valuable role in assisting and supporting their employees and their families in the immediate aftermath and in the days, weeks and months following tragic events.

The immediate focus is to ensure that everyone is safe. At this present time, particularly with intense media coverage and access to information on the internet, it’s important to acknowledge that this is a heightened state of emotion for everyone involved. It’s important to be aware that everyone will respond differently, and everyone’s needs will be different, initially and over time. Being prepared to provide initial and long-term support for people will enhance and promote their own personal coping strategies and resilience.

• If needed, allow additional time at home to spend time with family and friends - this helps them to feel safe and connected, and reassure others of their safety.
• Make sure your people have access to support information and numbers - specifically the EAP and any other services you may have in place.
• Create an environment that allows people to talk amongst themselves about fears and hopes related to the tragic events. Openly sharing with others has been known to promote personal recovery. There is also comfort in a shared community supporting one another.
• Be mindful and respectful of individual needs. Some people may feel uncomfortable or scared of sharing their feelings. Remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel.
• Establish an open-door policy that allows people to seek the appropriate care when needed.
• If possible and when appropriate, try to establish normal routines as soon as possible.
• Encourage people to communicate their needs, rather than assume you know what their needs may be.
• Maintain communication if an employee is away for any length of time.

An incident of this nature has the power to entirely consume those involved, especially when it has an impact on one’s feeling of safety and one’s family. As leaders and managers, it is within our control to provide support, reassurance, and care. 

For further guidance download 'After a Traumatic Event' pdf brochure, which can be shared with your people.

Manager Support is available on 1800 650 204

One thing people often worry about is their financial situation. Financial worry is normal. Financial security, job security and a steady income are important basic things we require to provide for our loved ones, to feel safe and secure. Financial security supports our wellbeing, such as leisure time and activities. The loss of that security creates uncertainty and anxiety. If we are not careful to manage our thoughts and emotions, financial stress can dominate our thoughts 24/7 and impact on our health and wellbeing.

The way we view our financial situation can shape our thoughts and feelings more generally. Financial challenges can occur at many times during our lives – getting married or separated, buying or selling a home, illness, reduced work hours or redundancy. Understanding financial concepts can be confusing, but getting your finances in order will help reduce stress and get you back on track. Remember, you are not alone, and there is help available.

Here are some basic tips on reducing finance-related stress:

Create a budget
If your financial situation is causing you stress, it’s vital to create a budget. Record all income and expenditure and know exactly what you spend on non-essential items. Be critical of what you are spending and cut down on any unessential items if necessary.

Pay off debt
Review and consolidate loans to help get them under control. Pay off your credit card debt and remember to start with the credit card with the highest interest rate.

Review fees
It’s important to review your bank and bank products as your life circumstances change. Compare and contrast bank fees and ensure you have the best products for your individual situation. Your bank manager can help talk you through the best options.

Save for a rainy day
Having an emergency or ‘rainy day’ fund can help alleviate financial stress knowing you have something in reserve. Start putting money away every month – even if it’s just a small amount, it all adds up.

De-stress
It’s normal to feel worried or anxious when times are hard but consider the impact financial stress is having on your life. Take time to relax and de-stress. Taking the right steps towards getting your finances in control will help ease stress.

How can Newport & WIldman help?

If you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed by your financial situation, remember you are not alone. Financial coaching can help you understand and manage money by teaching you financial skills that last a lifetime. Newport & Wildman’s financial coaches will assist you in creating a personalised action plan to manage your debt and provide practical information on your options and rights. Confidential guidance and support is available to expertly and respectfully guide you back to financial control. Reach out to us if you'd like support with finance coaching by call us on 1800 650 204.

Incorporating gratitude into our daily routines doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are some simple practices to try:

1. Keep a Gratitude Journal:
Set aside a few minutes each day to write down three things you’re grateful for. They can be as small as a warm cup of coffee in the morning or as significant as the support of loved ones.

2. Practice Mindfulness:
Take moments throughout the day to pause and appreciate the present moment. Notice the sights, sounds, and sensations around you, and take time to savor them.

3. Express Gratitude:
Don’t hesitate to express your gratitude to others. Whether it’s a heartfelt thank-you note, a kind word, or a simple gesture of appreciation, letting others know you’re grateful for them strengthens your relationships and uplifts both parties.

4. Count Your Blessings:
When faced with challenges, try to reframe them in a more positive light by focusing on what you’re grateful for. Even in difficult situations, there are often silver linings to be found.

5. Practice Self-Compassion:
Remember to extend gratitude towards yourself as well. Acknowledge your strengths, accomplishments, and efforts, and be kind to yourself, especially during tough times.

Incorporating gratitude into our lives is a simple yet powerful way to enhance our mental health and overall wellbeing. By cultivating a mindset of appreciation and thankfulness, we can experience greater joy, resilience, and connection with ourselves and others. We encourage you to explore these practices and discover the transformative power of gratitude in your life.

Remember, no gesture of gratitude is too small, and every moment of appreciation brings us closer to a happier, healthier existence.

Businesses can maximise the productivity and efficiency of their diverse workforce through:

 1. Developing an understanding of employees and embracing difference

 Seek first to understand before being understood - get to know what really makes your team tick. Ask respectful questions with the intention to better understand someone. Recognise and appreciate team members by knowing and using their full range of skills and talents and remove obstacles to their effective participation.

 2. Building cohesive teams through open communication

 Recognising that we all have biases shaped through our own life experiences which affect our perception of others. As leaders, it is important to raise awareness of these biases to help build tolerance, understanding and acceptance amongst employees. Understand that we have to adapt our communication to meet individual team members' needs. Culture informs our communication - facilitate a respectful and curious discussion about this in your workplace.

 3. Providing opportunities and encouraging participation in training

 Ensure that training is tailored to the needs of a diverse workforce and that both format and content is relevant. Ask team members for feedback. Newport & Wildman provides a suite of training that aims to promote diversity and inclusion, dignity and respect in the workplace through effective communication that assists to build effective teams. We also provide counselling and training support to manage conflict that may arise as a result of difference in the workplace.

 4. Promoting cultural knowledge and understanding through celebrations

 Develop a cultural celebrations calendar and engage employees to organise events as a way to raise awareness and break down barriers. 

Generally speaking, patience, courtesy and a bit of curiosity go a long way. And, if you are unsure of any differences that may exist, simply ask team members. A workplace in which diversity is valued also gains the productivity benefits of retaining valuable staff and maintaining high staff morale.

Ask your Relationship Manager about Newport & Wildman's Diversity and Inclusion training today

Our Diversity & Inclusion Training provides information to enhance understanding of the diverse nature of the workplace and how individual differences can be harnessed to foster healthy working relationships. Participants explore practical ways that organisations and individuals can harness diversity and foster an inclusive culture, where employees feel a sense of belonging and common purpose.

“Our invisible load is the stress we carry, that no one sees, that drives how we think and feel. From the physical load on our body to the emotional load in our mind, this invisible load is what really sits at the heart of our stress. And until we learn to unpack this, reducing our experience of stress will be almost impossible.” 
- Dr Libby Weaver, The Invisible Load

What’s your invisible load?
Invisible loads can look different for each of us. It’s about carrying the mental burden of ‘responsibility’ even when we’re sharing the load, or not physically doing the task that responsibility relates to.

Perhaps you are the walking family calendar, you know when it’s time to take the dogs to the vet, when the children are due their vaccinations or what vitamins they need to take after dinner each night. Someone’s birthday? You remember to buy a present and send a card. 

Or perhaps you are the responsible one who manages the family budget and takes care of all the bills.

Maybe you’re the planner, planning every detail to the last dot. An upcoming family holiday? You scroll through the latest deals, assess the safest countries, decide on what is the most affordable spot.

A study carried out by Arizona State University found that 90% of women felt solely responsible for organising family schedules, of which 65% of the women were employed. And these women were left feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.

The Bright Horizons report found 72% of working mums feel it’s their job to be across children’s schedules, and 52% were facing burnout from the weight of these responsibilities.

But this isn’t just a burden that women with kids carry, single women also carry many invisible loads. Women tend to assume the role of carer for elderly parents or disabled family members. With 71% of primary carers in Australia women.  

Our invisible loads are taken for granted because they are often not regarded as work. We don’t consider these loads when assessing our sources of stress or overwhelm, but they need more attention.

Our invisible loads can impact our mental health in many ways. They can lead to a loss of ‘identity’, being less satisfied with our lives and relationships, and more susceptible to stress, burnout, hopelessness. Often, it’s the cumulative impacts of invisible loads that contribute to relationship breakdowns - robbing children and partners of safety, security, and care.

The long-term health impacts of carrying this load can include neurodiverse issues and auto-immune diseases. In fact, auto-immune diseases are far more prevalent in women than in men.  We recommend reading Dr Libby Weaver’s more in-depth analysis on the health impacts and research attributed to it.

What can we do?
Today, many households have a more balanced division of labour. There’s a genuine shift in society of men wanting to help more, and many more supports in the community available to us all. But women still take on invisible mental and emotional loads without realising, and perhaps don’t recognise the toll this can take on home life if left without helpful care and attention.

This is one of the reasons why employers providing flexibility in the workplace is so important, enabling parents to drop off and pick up children, and providing parents with the choice to split that responsibility. We must acknowledge we all have significant roles outside of the workplace and provide our people with the flexibility to juggle these responsibilities and support one another.

Since the pandemic, many households are noticing these loads and shining a light on the issue. With more flexibility at work and the ability to work at home, households can split the chores and mental load.

Ultimately, the responsibility lies with each one of us. We must recognise how much we do and how much we hold. It impacts our physical and mental health, as well as personal relationships and is an issue we should be very mindful of. We need to open the conversation up and recognise the burden we are naturally taking on. To do this, we need to make the invisible, visible. Share this with your partner, discuss the mental burden you may be carrying and what you can do together to alleviate this.

Keep asking yourself what change can I make? How do we shift and adapt? What can I do less of? These are all important questions to ask yourself and friends and family.

What invisible load are you carrying? What changes have you made to protect yourself and your health. Let’s start the conversation here.

Sources:
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/01/190122092857.htm
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/what-is-the-mental-load
https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/disability/disability-ageing-and-carers-australia-summary-findings/latest-release
https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-01836-9

Humans are herd animals. We like to hang out together, share our experiences and talk through our decisions. Spending time with others can enrich how we view the world, build our confidence, provide emotional support, and can just be plain fun!

Yes, there are certainly lots of individual differences in how much time we like to be with others. But, overall, if we become socially isolated and feel lonely, it has a detrimental impact on our mental health.

The importance to us of enjoying positive relationship is acknowledged by Positive Psychology, where constructive relationships is one of the six elements that support a happy, flourishing life. These six elements, represented by the letters PERMAH (Positive emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Accomplishment and Health) are taught around the world to help people lead satisfying meaningful lives.

The six attributes that support a flourishing life don’t just happen by themselves. The integration of them into the way we live can take effort and an ongoing commitment until they become second nature to us to cultivate them on a daily basis.

This is certainly true of friendships. Friendships, indeed any positive relationships at work or outside of it, take time and effort to cultivate. If, in the busyness of life, we continually ignore others or give them minimal attention, don’t make time for positive interactions, and keep to ourselves, then it’s much less likely we will experience positive relationships. On the other hand if we take a moment to greet others, check in with them, share something of ourselves and listen empathetically we are creating the foundations of a strong supportive network.

It's important to remember that building positive relationships will, inevitably, come with difficulties. All relationships, no matter how positive they are, will have their ups and down. The question then comes – what do we do? When do we take the time and effort to try to repair the relationship? The outcome might be that we come out the other side having established greater insight into the other person and ourselves, along with a better understanding of what we value in the relationship. Or do we decide the relationship is actually damaging us, and we move away from contact with the other person.

There is no metric we can use to decide this. It’s something we must weigh up. We can ask:

• Is the person constantly overstepping boundaries that I have set with them?
• Are they trying to change me in a way that doesn’t feel right?
• Is it one sided, with me putting in most of the energy, and little coming back from them?
• Is the person sharing information about me with others without my permission?
• Are they acting in ways that hurt me? Or not apologising when they do hurt me?

If you answer yes to a number of these questions it might be time to reconsider this relationship as it may be harming rather than helping you.

Because questions of how to overcome difficulties in making friends and how to navigate difficult relationships can be quite complex, talking with a professional can be very rewarding. If these are questions that are on your mind, take the plunge and call us on 1800 650 204.

Feeling supported by people you trust is a vital element of a happy life.

Stephen Malloch

Illustration by storyset on Freepik

When life gets busy, and our routines get out of whack, it can be tricky to maintain a consistent exercise routine. Wherever you are at, it’s great to think about increasing your physical activity or even to shake things up and try something new.

Here are some tips to inspire you to get moving:

• Set a health goal. Write it down and share it with colleagues and friends – this will mean you are more likely to achieve it. Gradually work towards that goal, step by step.
• Understand your why – what is pushing you to increase your fitness? Could it be deeper than a waist measurement and more like stress management or better sleep?
• If you take public transport home from work –get off one station earlier and walk home.
• Take 20 minutes out of your Sunday and plan your week to fit in the exercise. Find a calendar that you can colour code, choose your favourite colour for exercise, and slot in times to get active. This will mean that no other meetings can be booked at that time.
• Factor in household duties. Think of cleaning your house as part of your exercise regime. Walk to the local shops multiple times a week to get supplies rather than driving.
• Don’t expect to love doing the “couch to five km” app (for example) straight away. This is a new skill and not something that you may be good at quickly.
• Find your supports and ask them for specific things – meet you at the park, parent/care for loved ones, not book meetings in your lunch break.
• Get a routine around your exercise and set yourself up for success. Get your clothes out and make sure your shoes are easily found (you can sleep longer if this is done).
• Go for a short, sharp 20-minute exercise plan that will allow you some flexibility to keep living your life and the demands in it.
• If you prefer working out from your home, get creative. Go for a walk and then come home and lift some cans of spaghetti and some large pumpkins for weights. This keeps costly gym memberships down too.

Counselling support can help you set goals and identify when stress and anxiety are affecting your choices and impacting your health. Call Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204 to book a session.

The Newport & Wildman 2024 Wellbeing Calendar and Quarter 1 Pack has launched! Making time for self-care within our personal and professional lives can be tricky so we have created the Quarter 1 Pack to help get you started. 

The theme for Quarter 1 is Self-Care, highlighting the following key awareness days: 

• 24 January - International Day of Education
• 13 February - Anniversary of National Apology Day
• 8 March - International Women's Day
• 20 March - International Day of Happiness
• 21 March - Harmony Day

Download the Quarter 1 Pack - Self-care
Access the calendar and the Q1 Pack (Poster, Infographic & Activity) via the Employee Portal - https://newportwildman.com.au/employees/index.php

Q1 Pack + Suggested Training & Services
The calendar along with leader resources and suggested training & services is available via the Employer Portal- https://newportwildman.com.au/employers/index.php

If you have any questions, call Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204 or reach out to your main contact. As always, our people are here to help support you and your people be their best in life and work.

At the start of a new year we often make resolutions to change some way of behaving that we are unhappy with. For example, we vow to exercise more. We then take up a new gym membership, and then…we go once.

So this new year you might want to look at enhancing a particular approach to living that can be applied to pretty much anything – an approach that can be very life enhancing. That approach is to practice being curious.

In the theory of emotion put forward by the neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp, our drive to explore the world and to discover is primarily emotional in nature. So curiosity is a feeling.  

What would it be like to grow this feeling of curiosity? Would you take a short course? Choose a different holiday destination? Maybe even question some of your assumptions about who you are and how you behave?

At the heart of curiosity is paying attention. Sometimes our attention ‘muscle’ gets a bit out of condition. We start taking things for granted. We assume we know what life is about and what our partner or friend is like. We believe that because the way we did something yesterday worked, that it is the best approach for what happens tomorrow.

Paying attention to the details wakes us up – and we may start to see things differently.

Here’s an exercise in curiosity.

Look at your hand. You’ve seen your hand every day of your life since you were born. But when was the last time you actively paid attention to your hand? So you could, right now, take a moment to stop what you are doing and look at the palm of your hand. Notice the lines and different colours in the skin. Notice the shape of your fingers. Notice any feelings that come up of liking or disliking what you see. Turn your hand over and look at the back of your hand. What do you see? Your hand carries not just your own history, but also the influences of your parents and their parents. Your genetic inheritance is shown in your hand. What stories does your hand carry to you about who you are?

This attitude of paying close attention and noticing what comes to you is pivotal to curiosity. If there is a problem in your life that you are struggling to solve, try simply paying attention to it, letting go of your assumptions about what it is about, notice what you see and take note of what comes to you. Let go of the struggle and see if you can cultivate an attitude of simple curiosity. The same with anything that you are unsure what the answer is. Pay attention to it, be curious about it, let go of your habitual viewpoints about it, and notice what comes to your attention.

You might like to take this attitude, this emotion of curiosity, into the new year. Who might you become in 2024? Be curious. Who knows what you might discover.

To book an appointment, contact Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

Cover Image from rawpixel.com on Freepik

What Is Counselling?
Counselling sessions provide a comfortable and safe environment where you can talk openly without judgement about what is happening for you. The counsellor does not label you or give a diagnosis. People often use counselling to speak about common life stressors, e.g. relationships or workplace stress or to learn how to reach life goals.

What happens in a Counselling Session?
During the first appointment, the counsellor will aim to hear and understand what is happening in your life and what you may want to achieve from counselling. You decide what you want to focus on in the sessions and the counsellor will work with you to find approaches that may help you. Through counselling, you will receive support as you try new strategies or approaches. The counsellor will never instruct you if you are trying to make a decision about something, however they will discuss your options and help you decide what approach is going to work best for you.

What if I don’t feel a connection or “like” my counsellor?
It is important that you get the greatest benefit possible from your session so that may mean providing feedback and seeking a different counsellor to move forward with.

Making an Appointment
Making an appointment is as easy as telephoning 1800 650 204 during business hours, Monday-Friday 9am-5.30pm AEST. Calls will be answered by our Customer Services Team. 24/7 assistance is also available for urgent counselling. When phoning us for the first time, an employee will need to provide the following information:

• Their name, their employer, and a few contact details
• Whether they would like to book a standard appointment or if they need immediate assistance.
• If they have any preferences in relation to the counsellor e. g., gender, age, specialisation.
• Location preference if sessions are face-to-face*. Phone, chat or video sessions are also available.

*Newport & Wildman has a wide range of locations across Australia, and people’s preferences will be accommodated as best as possible.

How much does it cost?
Free – that’s right, your employer values your wellbeing and provides this service to you free of charge. In many situations, your family members will also be eligible for this service. Newport & Wildman are specialists in supporting people through life’s challenges and giving them the tools and lifelong skills they need to thrive.

How many sessions do I get?
The amount depends on your employer, ask internally or call us on 1800 650 204 to find out. The sessions are designed to provide short term, solution focussed professional support. Longer-term support can be organised on a referral basis.

Do I have to see someone face-to-face?
Counselling sessions can be face-to-face, over the phone, email or video chat. However, depending on the immediacy of the situation a phone session may the first response.

To arrange an appointment, contact Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

It’s the start of a new year – and, if you are like the 70% of Australians who made new year’s resolutions last year^[1], you have probably already made one or two resolutions for 2024. Whatever resolutions you have made there’s one part of new year resolutions it might be worth taking a look at. Are you making the resolution because you want to, or because you feel you should?

Doing something because you want to and because you should are two very different things. Take a moment to notice how a want to feels… then feel a should. A want to probably feels lighter and draws you in. A should probably feels heavier and more rigid. With a should we typically feel the reason we are doing it is to please someone else, with a want to we are typically doing it for ourselves.

Research from the University of Pennsylvania points to fun and enjoyment being a very important part of keeping to any sort of change you are wanting to introduce into your life^[2]. If doing something makes you feel good while you do it, you’re more likely to do it again tomorrow. Want to’s are fun, shoulds are plain hard work!

Reconsider that new year resolution you made recently. Will you enjoy doing it? If the answer is a resounding no, then, sorry to break it to you, but you’re chance of maintaining that resolution is not good, and it’s probably a should. That doesn’t mean you now immediately give up on it – but it does mean you might want to re-think it. Back to that research from the University of Pennsylvania, a key takeaway is that framing the same situation in a different way can provide a substantial boost to your motivation.

How might that should become a want to with some fun inside of it? First, own it. If it’s your doctor telling you to lose weight, and you feel you should, then ask yourself what do you need to do to take ownership of this goal so you are doing it for you, not to please your doctor? This might take some introspection and a chat with a Newport & Wildman counsellor to help you understand what’s going on. Counselling isn’t just for a crisis. It works very well when you want to make a positive change. 

How do you introduce some fun? Perhaps try out some new recipes, cook with a friend who enjoys healthy eating, try some dishes from different cultures that are good for you, exercise with a friend. There are so many ways you could explore to find the combination that is fun for you. A conversation with a counsellor might be exactly the support you need to find what works. Call us on 1800 650 204 to arrange a session.

With a little introspection and insight, you can turn that new year resolution into a new new year resolution that is for you, and has some fun inside. Good luck with it!

Stephen Malloch

^[1] Research from finder.com.au

^[2] Get It Done: Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation, by Ayelet Fishbach.

Photo by Leeloo The first

As we approach the end of the year, some of us may have time off coming up or some of us may be busier than usual. Whichever category you fall into, it can be a great time of year to think about how we spend our time and if that matches how we want to spend our time. 

We all know logically that time is a finite resource.

Yet many of us live as if it can be stretched so that we can fit more and more into a 24-hour day.

So given time is limited, deciding how we want to spend it is important.

• Do you feel you have choice about how you spend your time? Could you exercise more choice?
• As well as deciding how you spend your time doing things, what do you spend your time thinking about?

“With our thoughts we make the world” said the Buddha.

Here’s three tips for ways to create a framework for deciding how you spend your time:

• Awareness: think realistically about time by knowing that it is a limited resource.
  • This includes bringing self-awareness to how we prefer to schedule our time. Do we like to have thinking time first thing in the morning, or later in the day? What do we want to think about? When do we prefer to do our regular tasks? If possible, it’s better to organise the day so it fits with our natural body clock. When are we more awake? When are we more sleepy?
• Arrangement: design and organise plans, schedules and activities to effectively use the time that is available.
  • The urgent-important matrix is a way to think about priorities. The horizontal axis goes from urgent on the left to not urgent on the right. The vertical axis runs from important at the top to not important at the bottom. Arrange your activities in this matrix to help decide how to organise your time. For example, anything that is urgent and important is prioritised. Anything that is not urgent and not important is put at the end of the to-do list, or perhaps let go. This applies just as much to what we do outside of work as to what we do during work time.
• Adaptation: monitor the use of time while carrying out activities, including adjusting for interruptions and any changes in your priorities.
  • For example, try to reduce errors made in estimating how long something will take; break down long-term challenges into smaller parts that are easier to achieve one at a time; create do-not-disturb time slots for when you need uninterrupted quiet time.

Being more organised in our life can take discipline and effort. Is there any emotional pay-off from not organising yourself well? For example, If you leave things till the last minute, do you get an adrenaline rush when you make it over the finish line just in time?  You might have to give this up if you want to be more time-organised.

If you want to discuss how you spend your time, ways to spend your time more effectively, and ways in which you can feel more in control of how you spend your time, give us a call and make a time to talk with one of our skilled counsellors. Contact Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

Cover Image from pikisuperstar on Freepik

Thank you for partnering with us in 2023. We hope you have a relaxing and refreshing festive season.

Please be assured our counselling and critical response support services remain available throughout the holiday season by calling 1800 650 204. 

Our other services and offices will break from Friday 22nd December 5pm and return Monday 8th January 9am.

Why is it that we can feel lonely in a crowd? How can we feel lonely when we have so many “friends” on social media or apps? The fact is, feeling connected to others depends on the quality of our relationships and how we think about them – loneliness is perceived social isolation. It is normal to feel lonely sometimes, just as it is normal to feel sad or anxious or tired or hungry. However, loneliness becomes a problem when it causes us distress or impacts our ability to get on with everyday life. Although simply “getting out there” and meeting people may be enough for some, for others this may not be enough. Many people live with chronic loneliness and may require a more considered approach in order to feel more socially connected.

1. Accept that sometimes feeling lonely is a normal part of life. Loneliness is a feeling. As with any feeling, loneliness serves a purpose. Rather than viewing loneliness as something bad, we can interpret it as a signal – it motivates us to maintain or repair our relationships. Once we acknowledge that loneliness is a signal and accept it as a normal part of life, we can then attempt to get on with everyday life despite feeling lonely.
2. Monitor your loneliness in different situations. Keep a diary, recording how lonely you feel at different points throughout the day (give it an “intensity rating” out of 10). After a week or two, you may notice patterns in terms of how lonely you feel across different situations.
3. Recognise the power of thoughts. Reflect on the thoughts that run through your head and how they may influence what you do or how you feel. 
4. Be aware of your own behaviour. If you feel anxious about social situations or believe you need to keep your distance to protect yourself, you may tend to avoid forming new social connections. Even though it may feel uncomfortable, try doing something different – talk to your neighbour, join a club, go to a party, or eat your lunch in the common area at work.
5. Engage in self-care. It’s easy to underestimate the impact of lifestyle on how we feel. Often, it is when we feel down that we neglect self-care, which is when we actually need it most. Next time you feel lonely; do something helpful – exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, work-life balance.
6. Volunteer - Volunteering can bring meaning and purpose to your life while connecting you to your community. Look out for volunteering options over the festive period. 
7. Reach out - Contact a qualified mental health professional.

For more information or to arrange an appointment, contact Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

As the year comes to its end, we might be planning get-togethers for friends and family, perhaps thinking about what this year has been about, and starting to think about what we want for the year that is coming. For some, it’s a time to celebrate Christmas, Hanukah, or the summer or winter solstice (depending on which hemisphere you live in). Whatever we do, or not do, there is something significant about us reaching the end of a year – that point in time where we come to an ending and then re-start, where January 1 marks the re-beginning of a journey that will take us all the way through to the end of December again.

For thousands of years, humankind has marked significant social and natural events through ritual. Rituals are symbolic events, often participated in by large groups of people. They are ways to create meaning. At this time of year, you may want to spend time reflecting on what all the activity, the interactions, and the effort of the past 12 months means to you. Do you look back over the year with a sense of ‘well, that was good’, ‘thank goodness that’s over’, or some combination of both? Do you want to live the same ways in the coming year, or do you want things to be different? And if you want things to be different, what are you going to do so that you create something different? 

So we at Newport & Wildman invite you to take a moment to reflect – perhaps create your own small ritual. You could light a candle, sit in a favourite chair, go to a place in nature which you find particularly peaceful or beautiful, and take time to think through what this year has been like for you, and what you want for yourself in the year to come. If we are always involved in doing, it’s very hard to break out of the existing patterns of our life. If we make time to reflect and consider, it creates a gap, a small space of new possibility where we can insert a new thought, experiment with a new way of being and behaving, make change so we move in a different direction. When we do that, something different will happen. It can be an experiment we run within our lives.

So try something new, something that inspires you a bit more, that moves you towards something that you will be proud of. A way of being, that when you look back from the vantage point of approaching the end of next year, you can say ‘that was good!’

Wishing you a restful, replenishing and reflective time as this year closes and the next begins.

For support during the festive season and into the new year, call us on 1800 650 204.

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

Photo by Engin Akyurt

This November Support Act is partnering with triple j, the Australian Recording Industry Association and other key partners for Ausmusic T-Shirt Day. It's a great way to show support for Australian music - and the people who make it. The day will be held on Thursday the 30th of November and will help raise funds to provide crisis relief and mental health services to artists, crew and music workers who are doing it tough.

"Ausmusic T-Shirt Day is an annual day of fun and awareness, to celebrate Aussie music and raise urgently-needed funds for music workers in crisis. We deliver this through short term financial support; funeral support; mental health prevention, education and training programs; the Mentally Healthy Workplaces Program; and the Support Act Wellbeing Helpline." Visit the Ausmusic T-shirt Day Website here.

Did you know that Newport & Wildman through AccessEAP, partners with Support Act to deliver the Support Act Wellbeing Helpline?

The Support Act Wellbeing Helpline is a free, confidential counselling service that is available to anyone working in Australian music (all genres), or the Australian Performing Arts, who needs to talk to someone about any aspect of their wellbeing. It is delivered in partnership with AccessEAP, and is staffed by professional counsellors who offer expertise in all areas related to mental health (e.g. depression, anxiety, addiction) as well as issues which can be mental health-related (such as loneliness, relationship breakdown, financial worries, illness and workplace conflict).

The service is accessible 24 hours a day, 365 days per year by calling 1800 959 500 within Australia. Find out more information about the Support Act Wellbeing Helpline here.