Take time for you - caring for the carer - a message from Sally Kirkright, CEO AccessEAP

The majority of people reading this article would know of and work with, a woman who is a carer.

I can put my hand up and relate to the challenges faced looking after an elderly parent. It’s not just the physical aspects of care, it’s making the tough decisions and the emotional demands faced on a daily basis.

Think about how many women you know who provide some type of informal care on a daily basis, for example, ageing parents, partners, or children, with mental illness, disability, or physical incapacity. More than two thirds of all unpaid carers in Australia are female and the majority (96%) of the time care is provided to a family member*. On top of this, at least 56%* of primary carers are also engaged in the paid workforce.

What do we know about the impacts of caring on women’s personal wellbeing? Research tells us that financial stress is one of the main contributors to stress and anxiety for primary carers. Female carers’ ability to participate full-time in paid employment is impacted by the needs of those they care for, and the average annual income of carers is well below that of non-carers. To add to this, there are many out-of-pocket expenses associated with being a carer, for example, to compensate for gaps left after government subsidies and pensions. The unique demands associated with being a carer places many women at a significant financial disadvantage across the course of their lifetime.

Perhaps ironically, carers will also tend to place others’ needs over and above their own, often neglecting themselves and their own health. Carers have the lowest wellbeing of any large group measured by the Australian Unity Wellbeing index. They are also 40% more likely to suffer from a chronic health condition than non-carers, including anxiety and depression. Free time appears to be a rare and precious luxury for carers. Between looking after others and keeping up an income to subsidise the needs of those they care for, it seems that there is little time left for them. Carers often also report feeling guilty about taking time out for themselves, and so will choose not to. Yet it seems that self-care and respite are two of the key factors to long-term resilience for carers.

Being a carer to someone can be satisfying and fulfilling. We know that the hormones such as oxytocin which are released through bonding and connecting with someone can enhance wellbeing. Additionally, there are many benefits to living life in a way that is consistent with personal values, e.g. connection, compassion, or generosity.

Here are some tips for supporting a woman you know is juggling the personal, social, and financial demands of being a carer:

1. Offer some flexibility around time wherever possible, understanding that she is more than likely trying her best to support and meet everyone’s needs. 
2. Encourage and make room for her to take time out for herself; to re-charge and rejuvenate.
3. Offer some practical assistance if possible to help relieve some of the demands on her.
4. Check in regularly and ask if she’s okay. Let her know you’re aware it’s not easy being a carer and remind her that she’s not alone.
5. Know that she may not always be proactive in taking care of herself, and encourage her to be more assertive about expressing her needs.

*Australian Bureau of Statistics (2015) Survey of Disability, Ageing and Carers.