Building Positive Relationships

Humans are herd animals. We like to hang out together, share our experiences and talk through our decisions. Spending time with others can enrich how we view the world, build our confidence, provide emotional support, and can just be plain fun!

Yes, there are certainly lots of individual differences in how much time we like to be with others. But, overall, if we become socially isolated and feel lonely, it has a detrimental impact on our mental health.

The importance to us of enjoying positive relationship is acknowledged by Positive Psychology, where constructive relationships is one of the six elements that support a happy, flourishing life. These six elements, represented by the letters PERMAH (Positive emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Accomplishment and Health) are taught around the world to help people lead satisfying meaningful lives.

The six attributes that support a flourishing life don’t just happen by themselves. The integration of them into the way we live can take effort and an ongoing commitment until they become second nature to us to cultivate them on a daily basis.

This is certainly true of friendships. Friendships, indeed any positive relationships at work or outside of it, take time and effort to cultivate. If, in the busyness of life, we continually ignore others or give them minimal attention, don’t make time for positive interactions, and keep to ourselves, then it’s much less likely we will experience positive relationships. On the other hand if we take a moment to greet others, check in with them, share something of ourselves and listen empathetically we are creating the foundations of a strong supportive network.

It's important to remember that building positive relationships will, inevitably, come with difficulties. All relationships, no matter how positive they are, will have their ups and down. The question then comes – what do we do? When do we take the time and effort to try to repair the relationship? The outcome might be that we come out the other side having established greater insight into the other person and ourselves, along with a better understanding of what we value in the relationship. Or do we decide the relationship is actually damaging us, and we move away from contact with the other person.

There is no metric we can use to decide this. It’s something we must weigh up. We can ask:

  • Is the person constantly overstepping boundaries that I have set with them?
  • Are they trying to change me in a way that doesn’t feel right?
  • Is it one sided, with me putting in most of the energy, and little coming back from them?
  • Is the person sharing information about me with others without my permission?
  • Are they acting in ways that hurt me? Or not apologising when they do hurt me?

If you answer yes to a number of these questions it might be time to reconsider this relationship as it may be harming rather than helping you.

Because questions of how to overcome difficulties in making friends and how to navigate difficult relationships can be quite complex, talking with a professional can be very rewarding. If these are questions that are on your mind, take the plunge and call us on 1800 650 204.

Feeling supported by people you trust is a vital element of a happy life.

 

Stephen Malloch

 

Illustration by storyset on Freepik

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2024 Wellbeing Calendar - Q1 Self-care

Landing Page WBC24 Q1 Hero Banner

The Newport & Wildman 2024 Wellbeing Calendar and Quarter 1 Pack has launched! Making time for self-care within our personal and professional lives can be tricky so we have created the Quarter 1 Pack to help get you started. 

The theme for Quarter 1 is Self-Care, highlighting the following key awareness days: 

  • 24 January - International Day of Education
  • 13 February - Anniversary of National Apology Day
  • 8 March - International Women's Day
  • 20 March - International Day of Happiness
  • 21 March - Harmony Day

Download the Quarter 1 Pack - Self-care
Access the calendar and the Q1 Pack (Poster, Infographic & Activity) via the Employee Portal - https://newportwildman.com.au/employees/index.php

Q1 Pack + Suggested Training & Services
The calendar along with leader resources and suggested training & services is available via the Employer Portal- https://newportwildman.com.au/employers/index.php


If you have any questions, call Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204 or reach out to your main contact. As always, our people are here to help support you and your people be their best in life and work.

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Keeping Curious

At the start of a new year we often make resolutions to change some way of behaving that we are unhappy with. For example, we vow to exercise more. We then take up a new gym membership, and then…we go once.

So this new year you might want to look at enhancing a particular approach to living that can be applied to pretty much anything – an approach that can be very life enhancing. That approach is to practice being curious.

In the theory of emotion put forward by the neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp, our drive to explore the world and to discover is primarily emotional in nature. So curiosity is a feeling.  

What would it be like to grow this feeling of curiosity? Would you take a short course? Choose a different holiday destination? Maybe even question some of your assumptions about who you are and how you behave?

At the heart of curiosity is paying attention. Sometimes our attention ‘muscle’ gets a bit out of condition. We start taking things for granted. We assume we know what life is about and what our partner or friend is like. We believe that because the way we did something yesterday worked, that it is the best approach for what happens tomorrow.

Paying attention to the details wakes us up – and we may start to see things differently.

Here’s an exercise in curiosity.

Look at your hand. You’ve seen your hand every day of your life since you were born. But when was the last time you actively paid attention to your hand? So you could, right now, take a moment to stop what you are doing and look at the palm of your hand. Notice the lines and different colours in the skin. Notice the shape of your fingers. Notice any feelings that come up of liking or disliking what you see. Turn your hand over and look at the back of your hand. What do you see? Your hand carries not just your own history, but also the influences of your parents and their parents. Your genetic inheritance is shown in your hand. What stories does your hand carry to you about who you are?

This attitude of paying close attention and noticing what comes to you is pivotal to curiosity. If there is a problem in your life that you are struggling to solve, try simply paying attention to it, letting go of your assumptions about what it is about, notice what you see and take note of what comes to you. Let go of the struggle and see if you can cultivate an attitude of simple curiosity. The same with anything that you are unsure what the answer is. Pay attention to it, be curious about it, let go of your habitual viewpoints about it, and notice what comes to your attention.

You might like to take this attitude, this emotion of curiosity, into the new year. Who might you become in 2024? Be curious. Who knows what you might discover.

To book an appointment, contact Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

 

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

 

Cover Image from rawpixel.com on Freepik

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It’s About Time

As we approach the end of the year, some of us may have time off coming up or some of us may be busier than usual. Whichever category you fall into, it can be a great time of year to think about how we spend our time and if that matches how we want to spend our time. 

We all know logically that time is a finite resource.

Yet many of us live as if it can be stretched so that we can fit more and more into a 24-hour day.

So given time is limited, deciding how we want to spend it is important.

  • Do you feel you have choice about how you spend your time? Could you exercise more choice?
  • As well as deciding how you spend your time doing things, what do you spend your time thinking about?

“With our thoughts we make the world” said the Buddha.

Here’s three tips for ways to create a framework for deciding how you spend your time:

  • Awareness: think realistically about time by knowing that it is a limited resource.
    • This includes bringing self-awareness to how we prefer to schedule our time. Do we like to have thinking time first thing in the morning, or later in the day? What do we want to think about? When do we prefer to do our regular tasks? If possible, it’s better to organise the day so it fits with our natural body clock. When are we more awake? When are we more sleepy?
  • Arrangement: design and organise plans, schedules and activities to effectively use the time that is available.
    • The urgent-important matrix is a way to think about priorities. The horizontal axis goes from urgent on the left to not urgent on the right. The vertical axis runs from important at the top to not important at the bottom. Arrange your activities in this matrix to help decide how to organise your time. For example, anything that is urgent and important is prioritised. Anything that is not urgent and not important is put at the end of the to-do list, or perhaps let go. This applies just as much to what we do outside of work as to what we do during work time.
  • Adaptation: monitor the use of time while carrying out activities, including adjusting for interruptions and any changes in your priorities.
    • For example, try to reduce errors made in estimating how long something will take; break down long-term challenges into smaller parts that are easier to achieve one at a time; create do-not-disturb time slots for when you need uninterrupted quiet time.

Being more organised in our life can take discipline and effort. Is there any emotional pay-off from not organising yourself well? For example, If you leave things till the last minute, do you get an adrenaline rush when you make it over the finish line just in time?  You might have to give this up if you want to be more time-organised.

If you want to discuss how you spend your time, ways to spend your time more effectively, and ways in which you can feel more in control of how you spend your time, give us a call and make a time to talk with one of our skilled counsellors. Contact Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

 

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

 

Cover Image from pikisuperstar on Freepik

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Support through the Festive Season 2023

Thank you for partnering with us in 2023. We hope you have a relaxing and refreshing festive season.

Please be assured our counselling and critical response support services remain available throughout the holiday season by calling 1800 650 204. 

Our other services and offices will break from Friday 22nd December 5pm and return Monday 8th January 9am.

NewportWildman Christmas Card 2023

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First Action Plan 2023- 2027 - National Plan to End Violence Against Women and Children

The role of organisations in helping to end violence against women

Marcela Slepica, Director, Clinical Services

On October 17th 2022 State and Federal governments released the National Plan to end violence against women and children. This 10-year plan includes a framework of actions to end violence against women and children in one generation. It highlights how all parts of society including governments, businesses and workplaces, media, schools, and communities must work together towards a shared vision of ending gender-based violence.

The statistics are very confronting. 1 in 5 women have experienced sexual violence since the age of 15, 1 in 6 women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence by a current or previous cohabitating partner since the age of 15 and 1 in 4 women have experienced emotional abuse by a current or previous cohabitating partner since the age of 15. The rates are higher for certain groups such as Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women1.

To address these staggering figures, the National Plan has 4 domains: Prevention, Early Intervention, Response and Recovery, and Healing. The government has now released the First Action Plan (2023 2037). The First Action Plan provides a roadmap for the first 5 year effort towards achieving the vision of the National Plan. It sets out the initial scope of activities, areas for action and responsibility with respect to outcomes, and outlines how they will make the commitments set out in the National Plan a reality. Read more about the First Action Plan and the ten action items they are committing to implement here.

Newport & Wildman are very supportive of this National Plan. We continue to provide domestic and family violence counselling and deliver training to organisations around Australia. As a part of our social purpose, we recognise the importance of addressing this issue and in providing vital clinical support for people in need. We encourage all organisations to think about their role and what they can do.

So what can your organisation do?

Given the high numbers of domestic violence in Australia, all organisations will be impacted in some way – an employee may be in a domestic violence situation and be too embarrassed or scared to share, one of your employees could be killed or their family member. With any domestic violence situation, there is an impact on employees, families, friends, colleagues and the broader community. Organisations will be impacted and do have a role to play. 

Prevention includes raising awareness and educating your people about domestic and family violence. Organisations also have a role in the Response and Recovery domain. Last year, the Federal Government amended the Fair Work Act and passed a law that all employees will be entitled to 10 days paid Domestic Violence leave.

Domestic & Family Violence Training & Onsite Support

We know that this is a very confronting and complicated issue. Newport & Wildman are here to support organisations and their people. We provide Domestic & Family Violence Training for Employees and Leaders. If your organisation is impacted, we also have onsite support available where a clinician will come to your organisation and provide support to your leaders and employees.

With the United Nations International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women on the 25th of November, it’s an important time to take action now and beyond. The impact of not addressing this issue is far too great. If you would like to have a conversation around supporting your people and raising awareness around domestic & family violence, please reach out to Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

 

1ABS Personal Safety Plan

 

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Leadership Series - Prioritising the people side of change

Shari Walton, Organisational Development Consultant

Prioritising the people side of change will help to create a psychologically healthy work environment where employees feel comfortable asking for help, sharing suggestions informally, or challenging the status quo without fear of negative social consequences. An effective team values psychological safety as much as physical safety and performance standards.  When this is the experience of individuals and teams, organisations are able better to innovate, leverage the benefits of diversity and adapt well to change. A psychologically healthy workplace is a precursor to adaptive, innovative practices, which is very much needed at the individual, team, and organisation levels in today’s rapidly changing environment.


Staying in your comfort zone can feel calming and reassuring in the short term, but it’s not a long-term solution for success. Challenging the status quo can support transformation, alleviate anxiety, broaden horizons and minimise stress.

Recent research suggests that organisations can foster a healthy and successful workplace by supporting and developing leaders to demonstrate specific leadership behaviours that help their employees thrive through change.

Some examples of positive leadership behaviour include:

  1. Acting as catalysts for change
  2. Empowering and enabling other leaders on the team
  3. Role modelling and reinforcing the behaviours they expect from the rest of the team
  4. Create a positive team climate where all contributions are valued, people care about each other’s wellbeing and feel involved in influencing the team ground rules and values.
  5. Introducing sponsorship to promote the success of others rather than yourself
  6. Demonstrate situational humility and develop a personal growth mindset and curiosity.

As leaders help their team develop through demonstrating the above behaviours the benefits individuals may experience as a result include greater confidence, improved flexibility, higher levels of motivation, increased skills and a more compassionate approach.

At Newport & Wildman we have a range of learning and development modules as well as individual and integrated wellbeing services to assist you in managing your psychosocial risks. Reach out to us on 1800 650 204 or speak to your main contact at Newport & Wildman to chat about how we can help.


Shari Walton is a highly skilled senior Organisation Development Consultant committed to helping organisations thrive through creating mentally healthy workplaces. She has extensive experience designing, developing, and implementing a broad range of Leadership Development, Talent Management, and other Learning and Organisation Development interventions that drive change and support individual, team, and business success.

Shari has over 30 years’ experience in the organisation development field across Finance, IT and Higher Education sectors. This experience is complemented with formal qualifications in Human Resources, Learning & Development, Executive Coaching, along with a Graduate Diploma in Communication Management, and a Diploma in Holistic Wellness Coaching.

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Kindness & Compassion

The month of November is often known for ‘Movember’ – when men across Australia grow not-particularly-good-looking moustaches to raise awareness around men’s health issues including men's mental health.

And the month of November is also about kindness and compassion – with World Kindness Day on 13th November and World Compassion Day on the 28th.

While no-one would argue against the importance of kindness and compassion, their role in the workplace may be seen as a ‘nice to have’ rather than a ‘must have’. Yet evidence suggests otherwise.

What is compassion? It’s defined as empathy plus action. Empathy is the ability to sense and understand others’ feelings. If we then add insightful and responsive action where our motivation is to assist – an authentic desire to help - then that creates compassion.

In a recent article in the Harvard Business Review[1] the authors discuss the vital roles of kindness and compassion in the workplace.

  • Why do employees want to stay in a job? Largely because they feel they belong and are valued, and they have caring and trusting colleagues.
  • Showing more compassion is associated with less likelihood of burnout. In other words, compassion can have beneficial effects not only for the receiver of compassion, but also for the giver. For those who are compassionate it can lead to a longer life by reducing risk of cardiovascular disease. It can help maintain cognitive function as we age and contribute to our overall levels of happiness and sense of wellbeing.
  • Those who are generous and agreeable are more likely to be promoted. Leaders who are primarily focused on the wellbeing of their employees have employees with greater reported job satisfaction and greater trust in the organisation, which leads to improved retention. It also has been linked with improved employee job performance and better team performance.

Maybe above all, being kind and compassionate simply feels good. It opens us to the world and to other people. It connects us to each other. It expands our sense of who we are. And it’s important we don’t forget kindness and compassion towards ourselves and our vulnerabilities.

So in November, as we think about world compassion and kindness days, take a gentle breath in, and as you breathe out, nurture a sense of gentle kindness towards yourself and those around you.

Our world needs it.

 

Newport & Wildman can provide a confidential space to speak about your mental health and wellbeing. Reach out for a chat and know that anything discussed with your counsellor won’t be shared with your workplace. Call Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

 

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

 

[1] Trzeciak, Mazzarelli and Seppala (2023). Leading with Compassion Has Research-Backed Benefits. Harvard Business Review, February 27.

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Men's Health - Reach out

Visit the Movember website for additional resources

November is a big month for Men's Health, with Movember spanning across the whole month and International Men's Day on the 19th. Both initiatives are all about promoting men's health and wellbeing, encouraging men to get the support they need. One of the biggest challenges for many men in Australia is opening up and having better conversations that can help with health and wellbeing.

The great thing about having a chat is that we can get it out of our heads and find ways to deal with what’s stressing us. Having that conversation early on can mean that we deal with something in the moment and stop it from escalating into something bigger. AccessEAP can help coach you to develop your own coping strategies, ways of thinking and how to work through tough times. These are life skills that can be learned and used when needed.

Here are some tips to help men reach out in times of need:

  • Take action sooner rather than later. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today when it comes to your mental health.
  • Just having a conversation is positive for your mental health. It is not a sign of weakness.
  • Maintain social contactkeep in touch with family and friends. Try a new sport, activity with others which is good for physical health and social connection. Sporting clubs are often just meeting places where playing the sport is a bonus.
  • Make looking after yourself a priority. Set goals for sleep, exercise and time out, whether that be fishing, football, reading. You can’t look after those around you if you can’t look after yourself.
  • Remember that the best health can be achieved by looking after both your physical and mental health. See your GP for regular check-ups and address health issues if and when they present.
  • Ask for help. Challenging life events happen to us all at some point; no one is immune. Has your loved one or partner suggested you get some help? They may have noticed you are not yourself. Listen to them, call or email us.  Equipping yourself with the tools and strategies you need to cope with life’s events can be learned. Start with your EAP and a confidential appointment to start kitting up.

For more information or to book an appointment, call us on 1800 650 204.

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Keep Talking after Mental Health Month

As Mental Health Month comes to an end, it's important to keep talking and check-in in with your friends, family as well as colleagues you are close to. You don’t have to be an expert to support someone going through a tough time. You just need to be able to listen to their concerns without judgment and take the time to follow up with them.

Listening 

A major part of communication is listening. We spend a lot of time talking about listening, and how important it is to demonstrate active listening, how important it is to “be heard”. Listening is a crucial part of what happens when you ask “R U OK?”. Being present, having empathy and risking missing out by putting down your phone and giving someone your undivided attention, is easier said than done. Yet it is fundamental in gaining understanding, having meaningful conversations and establishing or nurturing connection. It is a skill that few truly do well, but when we find a good listener, they are often a very valuable person in our lives.

Listening is so much more than just hearing, or waiting your turn to speak (without interrupting), it is an active skill. Practice active listening by paying attention, asking questions and taking in behaviours as well as what is being said out loud.

10 Tips on how to have an R U OK? Conversation

  1. Know your colleagues
  2. Approach the person
  3. Explain why you are having this discussion with them
  4. Ask R U OK?
  5. Listen
  6. Do not go into solution mode
  7. Do not counsel the person
  8. Encourage the person to take action
  9. Ask what way you can assist
  10. Follow up

Find out more information here.

Don’t just leave it there, it is very important to check in with the person regularly to see if they are OK. If you need support, please reach out on 1800 650 204.

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Why do we ask R U OK?

R U OK? Day on Thursday 14th September is a reminder of how important it is to check in with each other. We all need a feeling of connection with others for good mental health, and sometimes we see people around us who seem more reserved or less sociable than usual. This is the time we can consider asking R U OK?

RUOK? Day was founded by Gavin Larkin as a response to the suicide of his father. Gavin was determined to try to help others. He championed the fact that a conversation, starting with “are you OK?” can change a life – perhaps save a life. Out of that was born an extraordinary Australian organization whose mission is to inspire and empower people to meaningfully connect with those in their world and lend support when they are struggling.

R U OK? Day creates an opportunity for us all to start a dialogue about mental health, to create an environment of acceptance, and to normalise asking for help. At work, Managers and Leaders play a vital role in the culture of their workplaces. The most direct way to encourage discussion is through talking and encouraging others to talk, especially about what might be uncomfortable topics for some – such as their mental health. Leaders can empower their employees and facilitate a culture where it is normal to talk about how you feel, and for others to actively listen without trying to ‘fix’ anyone. R U OK? Day is an opportunity to discuss the importance of learning the steps and skills on how to ask those who may be struggling if they are OK. Lots of great guidance can be found on their website.

Our emotions are our friends. They tell us how our inner world is going. Learning to listen patiently to our emotions, to hear what they are telling us, and then acting in a way that adds to our wellbeing is a skill learnt over the course of a lifetime. Talking with others about how we feel can help clarify what we need to do to take good care of ourselves. Having someone ask you, genuinely, “are you OK?”, and then them waiting quietly for what you have to say, might be the difference between you feeling confused and lonely, or feeling there is hope and a way forward. The RUOK? website says there are four components to asking – 1. Ask, 2. Listen, 3. Encourage action, 4. Check in.

If there is someone you are concerned about, be courageous and ask “are you OK?” It might make a world of difference. 

If you are struggling or would like support in having an R U OK? conversation, please reach out to us on 1800 650 204.

 

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

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How we view the world

There is a fascinating book written by the psychiatrist Iain McGilchrist about the differences of the left and right hemispheres of the brain. One of his arguments is that the differences are not so much about what the two hemispheres do, it’s about how they approach the world - the left hemisphere sees the world as something we can make use of, while the right hemisphere sees the world as a place we are part of[1]. Both views are needed, and when the system works well the way we make use of the world is seen in the context of our place in the wider picture. But, he argues, we are increasingly losing our way, pushing the view of the right hemisphere into the background as we become fascinated with how we can make use of the world, and increasing the power of the human race over the world. We are forgetting that we are an intrinsic part of the planet that we are constantly using.

This view of humankind’s relationship with our planet Earth – that it is a place we are part of rather than simply a place we make use of – is reflected in many indigenous belief systems. August 9th was the United Nations International Day of the World's Indigenous Peoples. To quote from the UN website: “There are an estimated 476 million indigenous peoples in the world living across 90 countries… Indigenous peoples are inheritors and practitioners of unique cultures and ways of relating to people and the environment.”

Being curious about these different ways of relating to people and the environment can widen our view on what it means to be human. Without curiosity of others’ views we can become biased that the way we habitually think and the views that we hold are ‘right’, and we can become blinkered to other possibilities, holding on to views that are perhaps lessening the richness of our experience of living.

We are in an era of unprecedented access to the world’s cultures. Through the internet, museums, art galleries, music and dance performances we can experience a huge variety of ways that humans represent their experience of relating to other people and their environment. Being curious about these differences and exploring them might show us different ways of paying attention to the world that makes us question our assumptions – prompts us to ask the question ‘am I sure?’ about a belief or way of being in the world that up till then we have assumed is just the way it is.

So this month we invite you to consider International Day of the World's Indigenous Peoples as a reminder – a reminder to take time to explore the different ways indigenous peoples view the world and humanity’s relationship with it. If you come across beliefs that push against your usual ways of thinking, take a moment to ask yourself ‘am I sure?’ and see where that thought leads you.

 

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

 

[1] The Master and his Emissary, OUP.

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Reach out this R U OK? Day

You don’t have to be an expert to support someone going through a tough time. You just need to be able to listen to their concerns without judgment and take the time to follow up with them. If you would like to speak to someone about how to have the conversation or you would like some support for yourself, you can call us on 1800 650 204.

10 Tips on How to Have a Conversation on R U OK? Day
 

1. Know your colleagues

Relationship building is very important when it comes to mental health in the workplace. You will need to feel comfortable to approach a colleague that you may be concerned about. Also in order to pick up that someone is behaving out of character you will need to know how they usually behave.

2. Approach the person

It may be difficult to do, feeling a little anxious about approaching a colleague to ask them if they are OK is normal, it is necessary that we do it none the less. Think about whether you are the right person to approach your colleague, and if for any reason you think you may not be the best person, employ the appropriate person to approach your colleague you are concerned about. Make sure this is done with discretion and confidentially.

3. Explain why you are having this discussion with them

Be clear that you are concerned about the person and give specific examples of the observed behaviour change that sparked your concern. For example: "you are usually the first one at work and never take a sick day, however, I have noticed that over the past few weeks you have been arriving at work late and have had a few sick days."

4. R U OK?

Ask the question clearly and directly.

5. Listen

Listen to what the person is saying and also listen for how they are feeling. Do not interrupt, just listen and at the end summarise what you have heard to check that your understanding is correct.

6. Do not go into solution mode

It is not your responsibility to "fix" the problem or "save" your colleague – giving solutions can make the situation much worse.

7. Do not counsel the person

You are not a counsellor or psychologist and should not try to be that for the person.

8. Encourage the person to take action

Point the person in the right direction i.e. HR, EAP and/or their GP. You may have to support the person to seek help by going with them to HR, or making an appointment for them with the EAP or their GP and possibly accompanying them to the appointment if possible.

9. Ask what way you can assist

Allow the person the opportunity to explain what would be helpful for them.

10. Follow up

Don’t just leave it there, it is very important to check in with the person regularly to see if they are OK.


 

If you are struggling or would like help in supporting someone you are concerned about, please contact us on 1800 650 204.

For further information about R U OK? visit https://www.ruok.org.au/

RUOK WeMakeTimeToAsk FC2x2

 

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Feeling Stressed?

Stress is a natural state which allows our minds and bodies to prepare for the unexpected. Some stress is good: It helps us prepare for a big task and protects against imminent threats. However, a constant state of stress is exhausting and bad for our physical and emotional health.

We show stress in four ways:

  • Physically: feeling the rush of adrenaline, headaches, muscle tension.
  • Emotionally: becoming snappy or teary with little provocation; losing our confidence and vitality.
  • Cognitively: black and white thinking; catastrophising and dwelling on unhealthy thoughts; being indecisive.
  • Behaviorally: avoiding people and places; increasing our drinking; eating comfort food or not eating at all; insomnia.

By identifying indicators that we are stressed, we develop self-awareness that allows us to intervene before we feel overwhelmed. 

Download our 10 Tips for Handling Stress here for a reset, or if you are feeling overwhelmed, book an appointment on 1800 650 204.

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Mindfulness, getting to the heart of it

Where is your attention right now? Part of it will be on these words, and part of it may be elsewhere. Are you thinking about plans for the weekend? Worries about the cost of living? Remembering that wonderful holiday you had last year? Frustrated at the way a recent conversation went?

All this thinking can make us feel emotionally and mentally jumbled, and, if you consider it, rarely leads to anything useful.

Now, try focusing on just one thing. Your breath. Unlike your memories of the past and worries of the future, your breath is real – here and now. Feel into your experience of breathing in, and feel into your experience of breathing out. Please pause and do this, right now, for a few breaths.

You may notice how your attention can be pulled in other directions other than the breath. That’s OK – just bring it back to the experience of your in-breath and out-breath. Practising mindfulness is not about ‘getting it right’; it’s about practising bringing the mind back to where you would like it to be – on something concrete and real - after it has moved on to something else.

So many words have been spoken and written on mindfulness.

A Google search brings up a list of benefits - self-control, objectivity, tolerating difficult emotions, enhanced cognitive flexibility, improved concentration and mental clarity, emotional intelligence, and the ability to relate to others and oneself with kindness, acceptance and compassion.

What can be lost in this shopping list of benefits is that mindfulness, at its core, is not about getting anything. Wanting to get stuff can add to our inner drama and our feeling of pursuing the future.

Consider mindfulness as about leaning into the quality of our awareness, being curious about it, and noticing where our attention is drawn. Doing this while we consciously give our attention to something calming – our breath, a tree, drinking a glass of water – makes this easier. The quality of our awareness (is your awareness currently clouded or clear? busy or quiet?) and what we attend to has a major impact on the life we lead. We see a business opportunity, and our whole life is changed. We notice someone in a crowd, and we have a conversation with them that influences the way we see the world.

An important component in our awareness is the way our emotions colour it. Whether your awareness feels hard or soft, kind or harsh, is largely due to the emotional content.

So, taking a moment now, as you notice your breath, see if you can bring a heartful quality to your noticing. It’s a quality of kindness and inclusivity, nurturing and support. As you do this, notice how your body feels.

This is an emotional quality we can practice and cultivate.  

Mindfulness is not just about focus and clarity. It is also, at the same time, about cultivating a quality of kindness, inclusivity and support.  Bringing both focus and kindness to your daily activities can be life-enhancing – indeed, life-changing.

Try it out and discover for yourself.

 

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

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Coping with Financial Stress

The way we view our financial situation can shape our thoughts and feelings more generally. Financial challenges can occur at many times during our lives – buying or selling a home, getting married or separated, illness, reduced work hours or redundancy. Understanding financial concepts can be confusing, but getting your finances in order will help reduce stress and get you back on track. Remember, you are not alone, and there is help available.

Here are some basic tips on reducing finance-related stress:

1) Learn to budget: If your financial situation is causing you stress, it’s vital to create a budget. Record all income and expenditure and know exactly what you spend on non-essential items. Be critical of what you are spending and cut down on any unessential items if necessary.

2) Pay off debt: Review and consolidate loans to help get them under control. Pay off your credit card debt and remember to start with the credit card with the highest interest rate.

3) Review fees: It’s important to review your bank and bank products as your life circumstances change. Compare and contrast bank fees and ensure you have the best products for your individual situation. Your bank manager can help talk you through the best options.

4) Save for a rainy day: Having an emergency or ‘rainy day’ fund can help alleviate financial stress knowing you have something in reserve. Start putting money away every month – even if it’s just a small amount, it all adds up.

5) De-stress: It’s normal to feel worried or anxious when times are hard but consider the impact financial stress is having on your life. Take time to relax and de-stress. Taking the right steps towards getting your finances in control will help ease stress.

How can Newport & Wildman help?

If you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed by your financial situation, remember you are not alone. Financial coaching can help you understand and manage money by teaching you financial skills that last a lifetime. Newport & Wildman’s financial coaches will assist you in creating a personalised action plan to manage your debt and provide practical information on your options and rights. Confidential guidance and support, is available, to expertly and respectfully guide you back to financial control.

To find out more about our Financial Coaching services, click here or call us on 1800 650 204.

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Leadership Series - Creating a Psychologically Safe Workplace

Shari Walton, Organisational Development Consultant

Psychological safety is an integral part of health and safety at work. While companies may be aware of its importance, the process of creating a psychological safety strategy and putting it into practice can feel daunting.

The first step is understanding what is meant by psychological safety.

What is a psychologically safe workplace?

A psychologically safe workplace is one that protects people from psychological hazards. A psychological hazard is anything that could harm someone’s mental health.

This may include:

  • bullying
  • unrealistic workload expectations
  • traumatic events or material
  • conflict or poor work interactions and relationships
  • poor change management
  • harassment
  • aggression or violence

To create a psychologically safe workplace, data is analysed to identify these and other potential psychological risks. Actions are then put in place to manage and reduce them.

Training is provided in key areas, and leaders set the tone through role modelling and managing change.

The goal is to create and nurture a company culture where:

  • people feel engaged and comfortable with their work.
  • employees are supported to express themselves without fear of negative outcomes.
  • jobs are motivating and well-designed, and healthy workloads are maintained.
  • respect is fostered between all people in the business, and inclusivity, open communication and equality are the norm.

How leaders can contribute to a psychologically safe workplace

Creating a psychologically safe workplace involves a comprehensive strategy. It requires participation and consultation at all levels of the business.

Leaders play an important role in creating and nurturing a mentally healthy work culture.

Here are some strategies that leaders can apply to achieve this.

  • Foster open and positive work culture where employees feel encouraged to express concerns, opinions, and ideas.
  • Recognise psychosocial hazards, such as excessive workload, lack of control, poor communication, and inadequate support systems.
  • Encourage employee participation in decision-making to create a sense of influence over their work environment.
  • Promote work-life balance through reasonable work hours and realistic expectations.
  • Encourage utilisation of training and resources for stress management and mental health support, such as targeted learning and development modules and EAP support.
  • Ensure workloads are distributed equitably.
  • Promote fairness in performance evaluations, promotions, and rewards.
  • Lead by example. Model inclusive behaviour by treating all employees with respect, actively listening to their concerns, and valuing their contributions.
  • Collaborate with employees to address psychosocial hazards in the workplace and regularly evaluate the effectiveness of these strategies.

Integrating as many of these leadership practices as possible will encourage the creation and continuation of a psychologically safe workplace.

Do you need help creating your strategy for a psychologically safe workplace?

This is what we help our customers do. We have a range of learning and development modules and individual and integrated wellbeing services to assist you in managing psychosocial risks.

Reach out to us on 1800 650 204 or speak to your main contact at Newport & Wildman to chat about how we can help.

 


Shari Walton is a highly skilled senior Organisation Development Consultant committed to helping organisations thrive through creating mentally healthy workplaces. She has extensive experience designing, developing, and implementing a broad range of Leadership Development, Talent Management, and other Learning and Organisation Development interventions that drive change and support individual, team, and business success.

Shari has over 30 years’ experience in the organisation development field across Finance, IT and Higher Education sectors. This experience is complemented with formal qualifications in Human Resources, Learning & Development, Executive Coaching, along with a Graduate Diploma in Communication Management, and a Diploma in Holistic Wellness Coaching.

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Boost your Wellbeing

We often focus on our physical health, but it's important to consider and put effort into our mental health as well. Have a look at our top tips below for a kickstart or reach out to us to discuss how you can boost your wellbeing. 

If you are struggling, please reach out for help. Call Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

WDSHW 28 April Individuals

 

We are here to support you, whatever the nature of your concerns. For a confidential conversation with one of our experienced clinical professionals, please contact Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

 

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Diversity and Inclusion – It’s always been a good idea

The benefits of diversity and inclusion are all around us.

Let’s start by looking at the natural world. To quote the European Commission: “Biodiversity is the key indicator of the health of an ecosystem. A wide variety of species will cope better with threats than a limited number of them in large populations. Even if certain species are affected by pollution, climate change or human activities, the ecosystem as a whole may adapt and survive.”

It’s not a huge leap to see how this quality of our natural world applies to the world of human communities and the community of ideas that those humans generate. Adapting and surviving applies just as much to individuals, groups, teams and organisations as to an ecosystem.

Start with considering what happens inside your own head. Is your habit to think the same recurring thoughts, reading, listening to, and talking about the same viewpoints all the time? Or do you sometimes entertain ways of looking at the world that are less common for you so you have an opportunity to consider situations from a different perspective?

And when we have a group of people who all come from the same background, with similar life experiences and education, these people will all tend to think the same. This might make coming to agreement a piece of cake, but it also can create shared blind spots. Group-think often occurs in teams and organisations where there is lack of diversity. Decisions don’t get questioned, the overall status quo doesn’t get challenged, and as the external environment changes, as inevitably it will, and different threats and opportunities arise, they may go unnoticed or not seen with sufficient clarity until the opportunity is missed or the threat is too great.

Because we all can have a bias for spending time with (and hiring) people who are ‘like us’, spending time considering the importance of diversity and its implications for teams, organisations and individuals who may get excluded from opportunities, is a vital ingredient in creating a well-functioning group.

Jennifer Brown’s Ally Continuum is useful when thinking where you are on the journey of diversity and inclusion. There are four phases. Phase 1 is Unaware, where you see diversity as not your concern and you don’t need to do anything about it. Phase 2 is Aware, where you realise diversity needs attention, and you are educating yourself on its importance and starting to notice how some people can be excluded because they are perceived as ‘different.’ Phase 3, Active, is when you are starting to take meaningful steps to promote diversity in your workplace and outside it. And Phase 4, Advocate, is where you see diversity as an issue that you are standing up for. If you see someone discriminated against, or you are in a team that lacks diversity, you speak up and use your position to encourage change towards a more equitable and diverse environment.

Where are you on this continuum?

And as you finish reading this article, you might also like to take a moment to consider the patterns in your thinking. Do you always think in the same way, using the same ideas and processes to solve whatever problems come your way? Or do you at times give yourself the freedom to think outside the square, and entertain ideas that are less familiar? Encouraging our own thinking ‘biodiversity’ might help you adapt and survive too. 

If you would like to discuss and reflect upon your thinking patterns, reach out to us and book an appointment. Call Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

 

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

 

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Stress, it’s not all bad

Stress is a completely normal and useful part of life. Without stress, a muscle grows weak. With the right amount of stress, a muscle grows strong. But too much stress and a muscle can become injured, and then we need time for rest and recovery. Problems arise when there is too much stress. So if we experience no stress at all – there are no challenges in our life – we can become bored and even depressed.

When we face the right amount of stress - a challenge that stretches us and is manageable - that can bring an enormous amount of satisfaction, growth and learning. This keeps our mind healthy. When we face too much stress - a challenge that is overwhelming – that can wear us down. And just like when we overuse a muscle, if we don’t take time to rest and recover, we can experience ongoing pain, and the damage can become worse.

The amount of stress we experience is a result of two things – our external world (what’s happening around us) and our internal world (how we think and feel about what’s happening, as well as our physical wellbeing).  We can’t always make choices about what challenges we face, but we can always consider how we think about what is happening to us and then work at changing that.

Let’s look at a resilience model that has been found to be very helpful in managing stress. It’s called the 3-Ps. It’s designed by one of the founders of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman. The three Ps stand for Personalisation, Permanence, and Pervasiveness. They are the ways we think that increase our stress levels.

Personalisation is when we believe we are the sole source of a problem rather than considering how our circumstances are contributing. For example, if you were more organised, perhaps you could get all your work done. And perhaps your workplace practices share in the responsibility. Talking with your colleagues and manager about how work is distributed may form part of the way forward.

Permanence is believing that a difficult situation will last forever. When we are in the middle of something that is very difficult or painful, it can feel like it will never end, which makes the whole situation feel worse. But change is constant – and the difficulty will pass. Reminding ourselves to look at how a situation is constantly changing and to see it in a longer-term context can help us to begin to see a way to turn it around.

Pervasiveness is believing that a difficult situation applies to all areas of our life, not just a particular circumstance. A common example is when you say to yourself, “I’m so stupid!” as a piece of DIY falls to pieces. The truth is that perhaps you’re not the world’s greatest handyperson, but you might be fantastic at comforting a friend in need or managing a work project.

Keeping an eye on these three ways of thinking can reduce the amount of stress in your life as well as increase your resilience. Come talk to us about the way you think and how you can change it – you might become less stressed. Call Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

 

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

 

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Newport & Wildman acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples as the First Peoples of the lands we live and work on throughout Australia. We recognise their continuing connection to land, waters, culture and community as we pay our respects to the Elders past, present and future. We extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples who connect with this website.
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples are advised that this website may contain images, voices and names of people who have since passed away.

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Newport & Wildman acknowledges the traditional custodians of the land we work on and their continuing connection to land, culture and community. We pay our respects to Elders past, present and future. 
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples using this content are advised that it may contain images, names or voices of people who have passed away.