What Is Counselling?
Counselling sessions provide a comfortable and safe environment where you can talk openly without judgement about what is happening for you. The counsellor does not label you or give a diagnosis. People often use counselling to speak about common life stressors, e.g. relationships or workplace stress or to learn how to reach life goals.

What happens in a Counselling Session?
During the first appointment, the counsellor will aim to hear and understand what is happening in your life and what you may want to achieve from counselling. You decide what you want to focus on in the sessions and the counsellor will work with you to find approaches that may help you. Through counselling, you will receive support as you try new strategies or approaches. The counsellor will never instruct you if you are trying to make a decision about something, however they will discuss your options and help you decide what approach is going to work best for you.

What if I don’t feel a connection or “like” my counsellor?
It is important that you get the greatest benefit possible from your session so that may mean providing feedback and seeking a different counsellor to move forward with.

Making an Appointment
Making an appointment is as easy as telephoning 1800 650 204 during business hours, Monday-Friday 9am-5.30pm AEST. Calls will be answered by our Customer Services Team. 24/7 assistance is also available for urgent counselling. When phoning us for the first time, an employee will need to provide the following information:

• Their name, their employer, and a few contact details
• Whether they would like to book a standard appointment or if they need immediate assistance.
• If they have any preferences in relation to the counsellor e. g., gender, age, specialisation.
• Location preference if sessions are face-to-face*. Phone, chat or video sessions are also available.

*Newport & Wildman has a wide range of locations across Australia, and people’s preferences will be accommodated as best as possible.

How much does it cost?
Free – that’s right, your employer values your wellbeing and provides this service to you free of charge. In many situations, your family members will also be eligible for this service. Newport & Wildman are specialists in supporting people through life’s challenges and giving them the tools and lifelong skills they need to thrive.

How many sessions do I get?
The amount depends on your employer, ask internally or call us on 1800 650 204 to find out. The sessions are designed to provide short term, solution focussed professional support. Longer-term support can be organised on a referral basis.

Do I have to see someone face-to-face?
Counselling sessions can be face-to-face, over the phone, email or video chat. However, depending on the immediacy of the situation a phone session may the first response.

To arrange an appointment, contact Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

It’s the start of a new year – and, if you are like the 70% of Australians who made new year’s resolutions last year^[1], you have probably already made one or two resolutions for 2024. Whatever resolutions you have made there’s one part of new year resolutions it might be worth taking a look at. Are you making the resolution because you want to, or because you feel you should?

Doing something because you want to and because you should are two very different things. Take a moment to notice how a want to feels… then feel a should. A want to probably feels lighter and draws you in. A should probably feels heavier and more rigid. With a should we typically feel the reason we are doing it is to please someone else, with a want to we are typically doing it for ourselves.

Research from the University of Pennsylvania points to fun and enjoyment being a very important part of keeping to any sort of change you are wanting to introduce into your life^[2]. If doing something makes you feel good while you do it, you’re more likely to do it again tomorrow. Want to’s are fun, shoulds are plain hard work!

Reconsider that new year resolution you made recently. Will you enjoy doing it? If the answer is a resounding no, then, sorry to break it to you, but you’re chance of maintaining that resolution is not good, and it’s probably a should. That doesn’t mean you now immediately give up on it – but it does mean you might want to re-think it. Back to that research from the University of Pennsylvania, a key takeaway is that framing the same situation in a different way can provide a substantial boost to your motivation.

How might that should become a want to with some fun inside of it? First, own it. If it’s your doctor telling you to lose weight, and you feel you should, then ask yourself what do you need to do to take ownership of this goal so you are doing it for you, not to please your doctor? This might take some introspection and a chat with a Newport & Wildman counsellor to help you understand what’s going on. Counselling isn’t just for a crisis. It works very well when you want to make a positive change. 

How do you introduce some fun? Perhaps try out some new recipes, cook with a friend who enjoys healthy eating, try some dishes from different cultures that are good for you, exercise with a friend. There are so many ways you could explore to find the combination that is fun for you. A conversation with a counsellor might be exactly the support you need to find what works. Call us on 1800 650 204 to arrange a session.

With a little introspection and insight, you can turn that new year resolution into a new new year resolution that is for you, and has some fun inside. Good luck with it!

Stephen Malloch

^[1] Research from finder.com.au

^[2] Get It Done: Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation, by Ayelet Fishbach.

Photo by Leeloo The first

As we approach the end of the year, some of us may have time off coming up or some of us may be busier than usual. Whichever category you fall into, it can be a great time of year to think about how we spend our time and if that matches how we want to spend our time. 

We all know logically that time is a finite resource.

Yet many of us live as if it can be stretched so that we can fit more and more into a 24-hour day.

So given time is limited, deciding how we want to spend it is important.

• Do you feel you have choice about how you spend your time? Could you exercise more choice?
• As well as deciding how you spend your time doing things, what do you spend your time thinking about?

“With our thoughts we make the world” said the Buddha.

Here’s three tips for ways to create a framework for deciding how you spend your time:

• Awareness: think realistically about time by knowing that it is a limited resource.
  • This includes bringing self-awareness to how we prefer to schedule our time. Do we like to have thinking time first thing in the morning, or later in the day? What do we want to think about? When do we prefer to do our regular tasks? If possible, it’s better to organise the day so it fits with our natural body clock. When are we more awake? When are we more sleepy?
• Arrangement: design and organise plans, schedules and activities to effectively use the time that is available.
  • The urgent-important matrix is a way to think about priorities. The horizontal axis goes from urgent on the left to not urgent on the right. The vertical axis runs from important at the top to not important at the bottom. Arrange your activities in this matrix to help decide how to organise your time. For example, anything that is urgent and important is prioritised. Anything that is not urgent and not important is put at the end of the to-do list, or perhaps let go. This applies just as much to what we do outside of work as to what we do during work time.
• Adaptation: monitor the use of time while carrying out activities, including adjusting for interruptions and any changes in your priorities.
  • For example, try to reduce errors made in estimating how long something will take; break down long-term challenges into smaller parts that are easier to achieve one at a time; create do-not-disturb time slots for when you need uninterrupted quiet time.

Being more organised in our life can take discipline and effort. Is there any emotional pay-off from not organising yourself well? For example, If you leave things till the last minute, do you get an adrenaline rush when you make it over the finish line just in time?  You might have to give this up if you want to be more time-organised.

If you want to discuss how you spend your time, ways to spend your time more effectively, and ways in which you can feel more in control of how you spend your time, give us a call and make a time to talk with one of our skilled counsellors. Contact Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

Cover Image from pikisuperstar on Freepik

Thank you for partnering with us in 2023. We hope you have a relaxing and refreshing festive season.

Please be assured our counselling and critical response support services remain available throughout the holiday season by calling 1800 650 204. 

Our other services and offices will break from Friday 22nd December 5pm and return Monday 8th January 9am.

Why is it that we can feel lonely in a crowd? How can we feel lonely when we have so many “friends” on social media or apps? The fact is, feeling connected to others depends on the quality of our relationships and how we think about them – loneliness is perceived social isolation. It is normal to feel lonely sometimes, just as it is normal to feel sad or anxious or tired or hungry. However, loneliness becomes a problem when it causes us distress or impacts our ability to get on with everyday life. Although simply “getting out there” and meeting people may be enough for some, for others this may not be enough. Many people live with chronic loneliness and may require a more considered approach in order to feel more socially connected.

1. Accept that sometimes feeling lonely is a normal part of life. Loneliness is a feeling. As with any feeling, loneliness serves a purpose. Rather than viewing loneliness as something bad, we can interpret it as a signal – it motivates us to maintain or repair our relationships. Once we acknowledge that loneliness is a signal and accept it as a normal part of life, we can then attempt to get on with everyday life despite feeling lonely.
2. Monitor your loneliness in different situations. Keep a diary, recording how lonely you feel at different points throughout the day (give it an “intensity rating” out of 10). After a week or two, you may notice patterns in terms of how lonely you feel across different situations.
3. Recognise the power of thoughts. Reflect on the thoughts that run through your head and how they may influence what you do or how you feel. 
4. Be aware of your own behaviour. If you feel anxious about social situations or believe you need to keep your distance to protect yourself, you may tend to avoid forming new social connections. Even though it may feel uncomfortable, try doing something different – talk to your neighbour, join a club, go to a party, or eat your lunch in the common area at work.
5. Engage in self-care. It’s easy to underestimate the impact of lifestyle on how we feel. Often, it is when we feel down that we neglect self-care, which is when we actually need it most. Next time you feel lonely; do something helpful – exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, work-life balance.
6. Volunteer - Volunteering can bring meaning and purpose to your life while connecting you to your community. Look out for volunteering options over the festive period. 
7. Reach out - Contact a qualified mental health professional.

For more information or to arrange an appointment, contact Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

As the year comes to its end, we might be planning get-togethers for friends and family, perhaps thinking about what this year has been about, and starting to think about what we want for the year that is coming. For some, it’s a time to celebrate Christmas, Hanukah, or the summer or winter solstice (depending on which hemisphere you live in). Whatever we do, or not do, there is something significant about us reaching the end of a year – that point in time where we come to an ending and then re-start, where January 1 marks the re-beginning of a journey that will take us all the way through to the end of December again.

For thousands of years, humankind has marked significant social and natural events through ritual. Rituals are symbolic events, often participated in by large groups of people. They are ways to create meaning. At this time of year, you may want to spend time reflecting on what all the activity, the interactions, and the effort of the past 12 months means to you. Do you look back over the year with a sense of ‘well, that was good’, ‘thank goodness that’s over’, or some combination of both? Do you want to live the same ways in the coming year, or do you want things to be different? And if you want things to be different, what are you going to do so that you create something different? 

So we at Newport & Wildman invite you to take a moment to reflect – perhaps create your own small ritual. You could light a candle, sit in a favourite chair, go to a place in nature which you find particularly peaceful or beautiful, and take time to think through what this year has been like for you, and what you want for yourself in the year to come. If we are always involved in doing, it’s very hard to break out of the existing patterns of our life. If we make time to reflect and consider, it creates a gap, a small space of new possibility where we can insert a new thought, experiment with a new way of being and behaving, make change so we move in a different direction. When we do that, something different will happen. It can be an experiment we run within our lives.

So try something new, something that inspires you a bit more, that moves you towards something that you will be proud of. A way of being, that when you look back from the vantage point of approaching the end of next year, you can say ‘that was good!’

Wishing you a restful, replenishing and reflective time as this year closes and the next begins.

For support during the festive season and into the new year, call us on 1800 650 204.

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

Photo by Engin Akyurt

The role of organisations in helping to end violence against women

Marcela Slepica, Director, Clinical Services

On October 17^th 2022 State and Federal governments released the National Plan to end violence against women and children. This 10-year plan includes a framework of actions to end violence against women and children in one generation. It highlights how all parts of society including governments, businesses and workplaces, media, schools, and communities must work together towards a shared vision of ending gender-based violence.

The statistics are very confronting. 1 in 5 women have experienced sexual violence since the age of 15, 1 in 6 women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence by a current or previous cohabitating partner since the age of 15 and 1 in 4 women have experienced emotional abuse by a current or previous cohabitating partner since the age of 15. The rates are higher for certain groups such as Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women¹.

To address these staggering figures, the National Plan has 4 domains: Prevention, Early Intervention, Response and Recovery, and Healing. The government has now released the First Action Plan (2023 2037). The First Action Plan provides a roadmap for the first 5 year effort towards achieving the vision of the National Plan. It sets out the initial scope of activities, areas for action and responsibility with respect to outcomes, and outlines how they will make the commitments set out in the National Plan a reality. Read more about the First Action Plan and the ten action items they are committing to implement here.

Newport & Wildman are very supportive of this National Plan. We continue to provide domestic and family violence counselling and deliver training to organisations around Australia. As a part of our social purpose, we recognise the importance of addressing this issue and in providing vital clinical support for people in need. We encourage all organisations to think about their role and what they can do.

So what can your organisation do?

Given the high numbers of domestic violence in Australia, all organisations will be impacted in some way – an employee may be in a domestic violence situation and be too embarrassed or scared to share, one of your employees could be killed or their family member. With any domestic violence situation, there is an impact on employees, families, friends, colleagues and the broader community. Organisations will be impacted and do have a role to play. 

Prevention includes raising awareness and educating your people about domestic and family violence. Organisations also have a role in the Response and Recovery domain. Last year, the Federal Government amended the Fair Work Act and passed a law that all employees will be entitled to 10 days paid Domestic Violence leave.

Domestic & Family Violence Training & Onsite Support

We know that this is a very confronting and complicated issue. Newport & Wildman are here to support organisations and their people. We provide Domestic & Family Violence Training for Employees and Leaders. If your organisation is impacted, we also have onsite support available where a clinician will come to your organisation and provide support to your leaders and employees.

With the United Nations International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women on the 25^th of November, it’s an important time to take action now and beyond. The impact of not addressing this issue is far too great. If you would like to have a conversation around supporting your people and raising awareness around domestic & family violence, please reach out to Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

¹ABS Personal Safety Plan

Shari Walton, Organisational Development Consultant

Prioritising the people side of change will help to create a psychologically healthy work environment where employees feel comfortable asking for help, sharing suggestions informally, or challenging the status quo without fear of negative social consequences. An effective team values psychological safety as much as physical safety and performance standards.  When this is the experience of individuals and teams, organisations are able better to innovate, leverage the benefits of diversity and adapt well to change. A psychologically healthy workplace is a precursor to adaptive, innovative practices, which is very much needed at the individual, team, and organisation levels in today’s rapidly changing environment.

Staying in your comfort zone can feel calming and reassuring in the short term, but it’s not a long-term solution for success. Challenging the status quo can support transformation, alleviate anxiety, broaden horizons and minimise stress.

Recent research suggests that organisations can foster a healthy and successful workplace by supporting and developing leaders to demonstrate specific leadership behaviours that help their employees thrive through change.

Some examples of positive leadership behaviour include:

1. Acting as catalysts for change
2. Empowering and enabling other leaders on the team
3. Role modelling and reinforcing the behaviours they expect from the rest of the team
4. Create a positive team climate where all contributions are valued, people care about each other’s wellbeing and feel involved in influencing the team ground rules and values.
5. Introducing sponsorship to promote the success of others rather than yourself
6. Demonstrate situational humility and develop a personal growth mindset and curiosity.

As leaders help their team develop through demonstrating the above behaviours the benefits individuals may experience as a result include greater confidence, improved flexibility, higher levels of motivation, increased skills and a more compassionate approach.

At Newport & Wildman we have a range of learning and development modules as well as individual and integrated wellbeing services to assist you in managing your psychosocial risks. Reach out to us on 1800 650 204 or speak to your main contact at Newport & Wildman to chat about how we can help.

Shari Walton is a highly skilled senior Organisation Development Consultant committed to helping organisations thrive through creating mentally healthy workplaces. She has extensive experience designing, developing, and implementing a broad range of Leadership Development, Talent Management, and other Learning and Organisation Development interventions that drive change and support individual, team, and business success.

Shari has over 30 years’ experience in the organisation development field across Finance, IT and Higher Education sectors. This experience is complemented with formal qualifications in Human Resources, Learning & Development, Executive Coaching, along with a Graduate Diploma in Communication Management, and a Diploma in Holistic Wellness Coaching.

This November Support Act is partnering with triple j, the Australian Recording Industry Association and other key partners for Ausmusic T-Shirt Day. It's a great way to show support for Australian music - and the people who make it. The day will be held on Thursday the 30th of November and will help raise funds to provide crisis relief and mental health services to artists, crew and music workers who are doing it tough.

"Ausmusic T-Shirt Day is an annual day of fun and awareness, to celebrate Aussie music and raise urgently-needed funds for music workers in crisis. We deliver this through short term financial support; funeral support; mental health prevention, education and training programs; the Mentally Healthy Workplaces Program; and the Support Act Wellbeing Helpline." Visit the Ausmusic T-shirt Day Website here.

Did you know that Newport & Wildman through AccessEAP, partners with Support Act to deliver the Support Act Wellbeing Helpline?

The Support Act Wellbeing Helpline is a free, confidential counselling service that is available to anyone working in Australian music (all genres), or the Australian Performing Arts, who needs to talk to someone about any aspect of their wellbeing. It is delivered in partnership with AccessEAP, and is staffed by professional counsellors who offer expertise in all areas related to mental health (e.g. depression, anxiety, addiction) as well as issues which can be mental health-related (such as loneliness, relationship breakdown, financial worries, illness and workplace conflict).

The service is accessible 24 hours a day, 365 days per year by calling 1800 959 500 within Australia. Find out more information about the Support Act Wellbeing Helpline here.

With the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women on November 25th, November is a great opportunity to bring people together – in person or online - to raise awareness and commit to action to prevent violence against women. 

On October 17^th 2022 State and Federal governments released the National Plan to end violence against women and children. This 10-year plan includes a framework of actions to end violence against women and children in one generation. It highlights how all parts of society, including governments, business and workplaces, media, schools, and communities must work together towards a shared vision of ending gender-based violence.

Read more about the plan and how Newport & Wildman can support you and your organisation here - Release of the National Plan to End Violence Against Women and Children 2022-2032.

The government has now released the First Action Plan (2023 2037). The First Action Plan provides a roadmap for the first 5-year effort towards achieving the vision of the National Plan. It sets out the initial scope of activities, areas for action and responsibility with respect to outcomes, and outlines how they will make the commitments set out in the National Plan a reality. Read more about the First Action Plan and the ten action items they are committing to implement here.

The month of November is often known for ‘Movember’ – when men across Australia grow not-particularly-good-looking moustaches to raise awareness around men’s health issues including men's mental health.

And the month of November is also about kindness and compassion – with World Kindness Day on 13^th November and World Compassion Day on the 28^th.

While no-one would argue against the importance of kindness and compassion, their role in the workplace may be seen as a ‘nice to have’ rather than a ‘must have’. Yet evidence suggests otherwise.

What is compassion? It’s defined as empathy plus action. Empathy is the ability to sense and understand others’ feelings. If we then add insightful and responsive action where our motivation is to assist – an authentic desire to help - then that creates compassion.

In a recent article in the Harvard Business Review^[1] the authors discuss the vital roles of kindness and compassion in the workplace.

• Why do employees want to stay in a job? Largely because they feel they belong and are valued, and they have caring and trusting colleagues.
• Showing more compassion is associated with less likelihood of burnout. In other words, compassion can have beneficial effects not only for the receiver of compassion, but also for the giver. For those who are compassionate it can lead to a longer life by reducing risk of cardiovascular disease. It can help maintain cognitive function as we age and contribute to our overall levels of happiness and sense of wellbeing.
• Those who are generous and agreeable are more likely to be promoted. Leaders who are primarily focused on the wellbeing of their employees have employees with greater reported job satisfaction and greater trust in the organisation, which leads to improved retention. It also has been linked with improved employee job performance and better team performance.

Maybe above all, being kind and compassionate simply feels good. It opens us to the world and to other people. It connects us to each other. It expands our sense of who we are. And it’s important we don’t forget kindness and compassion towards ourselves and our vulnerabilities.

So in November, as we think about world compassion and kindness days, take a gentle breath in, and as you breathe out, nurture a sense of gentle kindness towards yourself and those around you.

Our world needs it.

Newport & Wildman can provide a confidential space to speak about your mental health and wellbeing. Reach out for a chat and know that anything discussed with your counsellor won’t be shared with your workplace. Call Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

^[1] Trzeciak, Mazzarelli and Seppala (2023). Leading with Compassion Has Research-Backed Benefits. Harvard Business Review, February 27.

November is a big month for Men's Health, with Movember spanning across the whole month and International Men's Day on the 19th. Both initiatives are all about promoting men's health and wellbeing, encouraging men to get the support they need. One of the biggest challenges for many men in Australia is opening up and having better conversations that can help with health and wellbeing.

The great thing about having a chat is that we can get it out of our heads and find ways to deal with what’s stressing us. Having that conversation early on can mean that we deal with something in the moment and stop it from escalating into something bigger. AccessEAP can help coach you to develop your own coping strategies, ways of thinking and how to work through tough times. These are life skills that can be learned and used when needed.

Here are some tips to help men reach out in times of need:

• Take action sooner rather than later. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today when it comes to your mental health.
• Just having a conversation is positive for your mental health. It is not a sign of weakness.
• Maintain social contact- keep in touch with family and friends. Try a new sport, activity with others which is good for physical health and social connection. Sporting clubs are often just meeting places where playing the sport is a bonus.
• Make looking after yourself a priority. Set goals for sleep, exercise and time out, whether that be fishing, football, reading. You can’t look after those around you if you can’t look after yourself.
• Remember that the best health can be achieved by looking after both your physical and mental health. See your GP for regular check-ups and address health issues if and when they present.
• Ask for help. Challenging life events happen to us all at some point; no one is immune. Has your loved one or partner suggested you get some help? They may have noticed you are not yourself. Listen to them, call or email us.  Equipping yourself with the tools and strategies you need to cope with life’s events can be learned. Start with your EAP and a confidential appointment to start kitting up.

For more information or to book an appointment, call us on 1800 650 204.

In a recent nation-wide study, involving over 4,000 people, almost 1 in 3 Australians reported feeling lonely, with 1 in 6 experiencing severe loneliness.^[1] And while 40% of people who said they are lonely live alone, 30% of people who live with others also report feeling lonely.

All this suggests loneliness is a problem in this country.

Continuing on from World Mental Health Day, it is a good time to consider your own degree of social connection and sense of belonging – both important ingredients for good mental health.

When we feel connected to others, we feel understood by them. And feeling understood and connected is a basic human need. It begins from the moment we are born. Loving caregivers want to understand what a baby needs – are they hungry, too cold, too warm? Do they need to be picked up and held? Babies are very good at communicating when they are not understood – they become unhappy and let others know it! And they are also very good at communicating when they are understood – they look into an adult’s eyes and smile, or perhaps laugh and make ‘happy sounds’. It’s obvious when a baby feels understood – they look happy and connect with those around them.

But as we become adults, we can learn to hide when we are not feeling understood – we learn to pretend that we are happy, but inside we know we’re not. Why do we do this? Perhaps we tried to get people to understand us, but we just couldn’t make it happen. Maybe no one really got what we were about. And maybe we started to feel ashamed about that. We started to feel that this was somehow our fault.

The truth is that to be misunderstood can be very painful. It can lead to feeling cut off from others, isolated and lonely. Loneliness can then eat away at us. Left to be with our difficult thoughts and feelings, without being able to share them with someone else, makes us feel even lonelier.

So being understood is important. As we communicate with others it helps us understand ourselves. We feel more ‘solid’ as we interact with others who are empathetic to who we are. We feel we belong, that we are part of a group that accepts us, and that as we aim to achieve, so we are supported.

So as we reach the end of Mental Health Month, consider to what degree you feel understood by those around you, and to what extent you understand others. What changes could you make to improve your feeling of connection with others? Making yourself understood can take effort, and it might involve overcoming some old habits – perhaps you’ve got used to not speaking up, or maybe seeking out people who are more likely to understand you could be helpful. Or maybe you’ve stopped making the effort to really understand others. Putting in the effort could be very rewarding.

Wanting a sense of connection and to be understood is present in us from the very start of life. This month set aside some time to build your sense of connection with others.

Newport & Wildman can provide a confidential space to speak about your mental health and wellbeing. Reach out for a chat and know that anything discussed with your counsellor won’t be shared with your workplace. Call Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204.

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

^[1] State of the Nation Report: Social connection in Australia 2023. A deep-dive into Loneliness and Social Isolaton. www.endingloneliness.com.au

As Mental Health Month comes to an end, it's important to keep talking and check-in in with your friends, family as well as colleagues you are close to. You don’t have to be an expert to support someone going through a tough time. You just need to be able to listen to their concerns without judgment and take the time to follow up with them.

Listening 

A major part of communication is listening. We spend a lot of time talking about listening, and how important it is to demonstrate active listening, how important it is to “be heard”. Listening is a crucial part of what happens when you ask “R U OK?”. Being present, having empathy and risking missing out by putting down your phone and giving someone your undivided attention, is easier said than done. Yet it is fundamental in gaining understanding, having meaningful conversations and establishing or nurturing connection. It is a skill that few truly do well, but when we find a good listener, they are often a very valuable person in our lives.

Listening is so much more than just hearing, or waiting your turn to speak (without interrupting), it is an active skill. Practice active listening by paying attention, asking questions and taking in behaviours as well as what is being said out loud.

10 Tips on how to have an R U OK? Conversation

1. Know your colleagues
2. Approach the person
3. Explain why you are having this discussion with them
4. Ask R U OK?
5. Listen
6. Do not go into solution mode
7. Do not counsel the person
8. Encourage the person to take action
9. Ask what way you can assist
10. Follow up

Find out more information here.

Don’t just leave it there, it is very important to check in with the person regularly to see if they are OK. If you need support, please reach out on 1800 650 204.

R U OK? Day on Thursday 14^th September is a reminder of how important it is to check in with each other. We all need a feeling of connection with others for good mental health, and sometimes we see people around us who seem more reserved or less sociable than usual. This is the time we can consider asking R U OK?

RUOK? Day was founded by Gavin Larkin as a response to the suicide of his father. Gavin was determined to try to help others. He championed the fact that a conversation, starting with “are you OK?” can change a life – perhaps save a life. Out of that was born an extraordinary Australian organization whose mission is to inspire and empower people to meaningfully connect with those in their world and lend support when they are struggling.

R U OK? Day creates an opportunity for us all to start a dialogue about mental health, to create an environment of acceptance, and to normalise asking for help. At work, Managers and Leaders play a vital role in the culture of their workplaces. The most direct way to encourage discussion is through talking and encouraging others to talk, especially about what might be uncomfortable topics for some – such as their mental health. Leaders can empower their employees and facilitate a culture where it is normal to talk about how you feel, and for others to actively listen without trying to ‘fix’ anyone. R U OK? Day is an opportunity to discuss the importance of learning the steps and skills on how to ask those who may be struggling if they are OK. Lots of great guidance can be found on their website.

Our emotions are our friends. They tell us how our inner world is going. Learning to listen patiently to our emotions, to hear what they are telling us, and then acting in a way that adds to our wellbeing is a skill learnt over the course of a lifetime. Talking with others about how we feel can help clarify what we need to do to take good care of ourselves. Having someone ask you, genuinely, “are you OK?”, and then them waiting quietly for what you have to say, might be the difference between you feeling confused and lonely, or feeling there is hope and a way forward. The RUOK? website says there are four components to asking – 1. Ask, 2. Listen, 3. Encourage action, 4. Check in.

If there is someone you are concerned about, be courageous and ask “are you OK?” It might make a world of difference. 

If you are struggling or would like support in having an R U OK? conversation, please reach out to us on 1800 650 204.

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

Quarter 3 of the Wellbeing Calendar has launched! Building connection is key so we have created the Quarter 3 Pack to help get you started. 

The theme for Quarter 3 is Building Connection, highlighting the following key awareness days: 

• 2 - 9 July - NAIDOC Week
• 7 August - Aged Care Employee Day
• 9 August - International Day of the World's Indigenous Peoples
• 25 August - Wear it Purple Day
• 4 - 10 September - Women's Health Week
• 10 September - World Suicide Prevention Day
• 14 September - R U OK Day

Download the Quarter 3 Pack - Building Connection
Access the calendar and the Q3 Pack (Poster, Infographic & Activity) via the Employee Login Area - - https://newportwildman.com.au/employees/index.php

Q3 Pack as well as Suggested Training & Services
The calendar along with leader resources and suggested training & services is available via the Employer Login- https://newportwildman.com.au/employers/index.php

If you have any questions, call Newport & Wildman on 1800 650 204 or reach out to your main contact. As always, our people are here to help support you and your people be their best in life and work.

There is a fascinating book written by the psychiatrist Iain McGilchrist about the differences of the left and right hemispheres of the brain. One of his arguments is that the differences are not so much about what the two hemispheres do, it’s about how they approach the world - the left hemisphere sees the world as something we can make use of, while the right hemisphere sees the world as a place we are part of^[1]. Both views are needed, and when the system works well the way we make use of the world is seen in the context of our place in the wider picture. But, he argues, we are increasingly losing our way, pushing the view of the right hemisphere into the background as we become fascinated with how we can make use of the world, and increasing the power of the human race over the world. We are forgetting that we are an intrinsic part of the planet that we are constantly using.

This view of humankind’s relationship with our planet Earth – that it is a place we are part of rather than simply a place we make use of – is reflected in many indigenous belief systems. August 9^th was the United Nations International Day of the World's Indigenous Peoples. To quote from the UN website: “There are an estimated 476 million indigenous peoples in the world living across 90 countries… Indigenous peoples are inheritors and practitioners of unique cultures and ways of relating to people and the environment.”

Being curious about these different ways of relating to people and the environment can widen our view on what it means to be human. Without curiosity of others’ views we can become biased that the way we habitually think and the views that we hold are ‘right’, and we can become blinkered to other possibilities, holding on to views that are perhaps lessening the richness of our experience of living.

We are in an era of unprecedented access to the world’s cultures. Through the internet, museums, art galleries, music and dance performances we can experience a huge variety of ways that humans represent their experience of relating to other people and their environment. Being curious about these differences and exploring them might show us different ways of paying attention to the world that makes us question our assumptions – prompts us to ask the question ‘am I sure?’ about a belief or way of being in the world that up till then we have assumed is just the way it is.

So this month we invite you to consider International Day of the World's Indigenous Peoples as a reminder – a reminder to take time to explore the different ways indigenous peoples view the world and humanity’s relationship with it. If you come across beliefs that push against your usual ways of thinking, take a moment to ask yourself ‘am I sure?’ and see where that thought leads you.

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting

^[1] The Master and his Emissary, OUP.

Thursday the 14th of September is R U OK? Day and Newport & Wildman would like to support you and your people to feel confident asking "R U OK?". For the month of September, Newport & Wildman are offering onsite visits and three training packages with online and face-to-face options. 

R U OK? Day is often the busiest day of the year for us here at Newport & Wildman so we encourage you to get in quick. 

• R U OK? Training Packages
• R U OK? Pre-recorded Webinars 
• R U OK? Onsite Clinician

Please reach out to your main contact at Newport & Wildman to discuss or book.

R U OK? Training Packages

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Please book asap to secure availability, reach out to your main contact. Training must be confirmed three weeks before the delivery date. The cutoff date for R U OK? Day is the 24th of August. 

 Webinars  .

The Essentials and Advanced Webinars are available to purchase separately.

• One month's access to the webinar.
• To access the webinar on R U OK? Day (14th of September), please purchase by the 7th of September.
• Reach out to your main contact to book.

 Onsite Clinician

Please book asap to secure availability, reach out to your main contact.  Requires ten business days' notice before the onsite delivery date.

Please reach out to your main contact at Newport & Wildman to discuss or book.

Cancellation Policy/Delivery Changes: Please speak with your main contact at Newport & Wildman for more information.

   For more information on R U OK? Day, see the R U OK? Day Website.

You don’t have to be an expert to support someone going through a tough time. You just need to be able to listen to their concerns without judgment and take the time to follow up with them. If you would like to speak to someone about how to have the conversation or you would like some support for yourself, you can call us on 1800 650 204.

10 Tips on How to Have a Conversation on R U OK? Day

Where is your attention right now? Part of it will be on these words, and part of it may be elsewhere. Are you thinking about plans for the weekend? Worries about the cost of living? Remembering that wonderful holiday you had last year? Frustrated at the way a recent conversation went?

All this thinking can make us feel emotionally and mentally jumbled, and, if you consider it, rarely leads to anything useful.

Now, try focusing on just one thing. Your breath. Unlike your memories of the past and worries of the future, your breath is real – here and now. Feel into your experience of breathing in, and feel into your experience of breathing out. Please pause and do this, right now, for a few breaths.

You may notice how your attention can be pulled in other directions other than the breath. That’s OK – just bring it back to the experience of your in-breath and out-breath. Practising mindfulness is not about ‘getting it right’; it’s about practising bringing the mind back to where you would like it to be – on something concrete and real - after it has moved on to something else.

So many words have been spoken and written on mindfulness.

A Google search brings up a list of benefits - self-control, objectivity, tolerating difficult emotions, enhanced cognitive flexibility, improved concentration and mental clarity, emotional intelligence, and the ability to relate to others and oneself with kindness, acceptance and compassion.

What can be lost in this shopping list of benefits is that mindfulness, at its core, is not about getting anything. Wanting to get stuff can add to our inner drama and our feeling of pursuing the future.

Consider mindfulness as about leaning into the quality of our awareness, being curious about it, and noticing where our attention is drawn. Doing this while we consciously give our attention to something calming – our breath, a tree, drinking a glass of water – makes this easier. The quality of our awareness (is your awareness currently clouded or clear? busy or quiet?) and what we attend to has a major impact on the life we lead. We see a business opportunity, and our whole life is changed. We notice someone in a crowd, and we have a conversation with them that influences the way we see the world.

An important component in our awareness is the way our emotions colour it. Whether your awareness feels hard or soft, kind or harsh, is largely due to the emotional content.

So, taking a moment now, as you notice your breath, see if you can bring a heartful quality to your noticing. It’s a quality of kindness and inclusivity, nurturing and support. As you do this, notice how your body feels.

This is an emotional quality we can practice and cultivate.  

Mindfulness is not just about focus and clarity. It is also, at the same time, about cultivating a quality of kindness, inclusivity and support.  Bringing both focus and kindness to your daily activities can be life-enhancing – indeed, life-changing.

Try it out and discover for yourself.

Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting