The late, great Elvis Presley wasn’t singing about improving mental health support for men but it certainly sums up what many men are looking for, according to research conducted by Sydney University’s School of Psychology1.
The research found that men tend to want an idea of how treatment is going to work from the outset, a structured plan for working towards recovery, the power to gain skills that help them deal with depression and to feel in control of their lives.
Men account for two thirds of all suicides, have higher rates of substance abuse, and are the main perpetrators of violence against their partners. We see in our own data that men are also much less likely to seek support services such as counselling. This is often attributed to the stigma associated with seeking help. One of the most common findings from research to date is that men believe that showing any form of vulnerability equates to weakness. The reasons for this are likely to stem from the societal expectations that have been assigned to men. Traditional ideas of masculinity expect men to be stoic, invulnerable, and reject displays of emotion.
In my view these expectations are unrealistic as we are all human and humans have feelings, no one is immune. Some common myths about counselling are that you will talk for an entire session about emotion, it’s just a big ‘talk fest’ and how will talking help? Some believe that you have to talk about your childhood and not everyone wants to do that. It is important to help men understand that counselling is talking but there is a goal, there are objectives, strategies which are decided and counsellors do talk to help men understand feelings. In counselling, an individual only talks about what they want, they do not need to talk about their childhood. It is uncomfortable to talk about feelings but like anything new it gets easier with practice.
Our role at AccessEAP is to assist the men in our workplaces, and our personal lives, so that they do not continue to struggle with emotion in silence. We do this by providing skills and education and breaking down stigma. In subscribing to old ideas of masculinity as a society, men are taught to be uncomfortable with emotion so they lack confidence to manage emotion, and perhaps even fear it.
At AccessEAP we offer solution-focused, short term counselling support. Our counsellors understand the importance of helping clients to understand the counselling process and set goals, while gaining skills to help deal with depression or anxiety. With a plan and skills, these can practiced outside the sessions. The good news here is that managing emotions (both your own and that of others) is a skill that can be learned and developed, much like riding a bike.
Our professionals are trained in approaches that offer practical steps that men can use to improve relationships, and stop the destructive pattern of harm to themselves and others. We want to be part of the solution in every sense of the word.