It’s the start of a new year – and, if you are like the 70% of Australians who made new year’s resolutions last year[1], you have probably already made one or two resolutions for 2024. Whatever resolutions you have made there’s one part of new year resolutions it might be worth taking a look at. Are you making the resolution because you want to, or because you feel you should?
Doing something because you want to and because you should are two very different things. Take a moment to notice how a want to feels… then feel a should. A want to probably feels lighter and draws you in. A should probably feels heavier and more rigid. With a should we typically feel the reason we are doing it is to please someone else, with a want to we are typically doing it for ourselves.
Research from the University of Pennsylvania points to fun and enjoyment being a very important part of keeping to any sort of change you are wanting to introduce into your life[2]. If doing something makes you feel good while you do it, you’re more likely to do it again tomorrow. Want to’s are fun, shoulds are plain hard work!
Reconsider that new year resolution you made recently. Will you enjoy doing it? If the answer is a resounding no, then, sorry to break it to you, but you’re chance of maintaining that resolution is not good, and it’s probably a should. That doesn’t mean you now immediately give up on it – but it does mean you might want to re-think it. Back to that research from the University of Pennsylvania, a key takeaway is that framing the same situation in a different way can provide a substantial boost to your motivation.
How might that should become a want to with some fun inside of it? First, own it. If it’s your doctor telling you to lose weight, and you feel you should, then ask yourself what do you need to do to take ownership of this goal so you are doing it for you, not to please your doctor? This might take some introspection and a chat with a Newport & Wildman counsellor to help you understand what’s going on. Counselling isn’t just for a crisis. It works very well when you want to make a positive change.
How do you introduce some fun? Perhaps try out some new recipes, cook with a friend who enjoys healthy eating, try some dishes from different cultures that are good for you, exercise with a friend. There are so many ways you could explore to find the combination that is fun for you. A conversation with a counsellor might be exactly the support you need to find what works. Call us on 1800 650 204 to arrange a session.
With a little introspection and insight, you can turn that new year resolution into a new new year resolution that is for you, and has some fun inside. Good luck with it!
Stephen Malloch
[1] Research from finder.com.au
[2] Get It Done: Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation, by Ayelet Fishbach.