The rates of youth suicide and self-harm in Australia are concerning. Yet many adults, including managers, colleagues, teachers, and even parents, often struggle to know whether, and how, to initiate a conversation with a young person. It can often be difficult to even identify the need to have a conversation. Signs of depression in a young person may, for example, be dismissed as just part of the emotional struggles faced by all youth while they establish their independence and identity, during the transition into adulthood. A young person may also be actively concealing their struggles from others due to factors including pressure to maintain a positive image, and feeling ashamed or embarrassed.
The clear message from the R U OK? foundation is that conversation is critical to suicide prevention, and if in doubt, we should reach out. This is not always a simple task, particularly when it comes to a young person. Concerns about intruding on a young person’s privacy, anxiety about how they will react, and fear of making things worse, are all common reasons that an important conversation may be postponed or avoided.
We’ve put together a few tips which we hope will help you to confidently initiate a conversation with a young person.
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10 TIPS for Having a Conversation: 1. Encourage and show acceptance of different forms of non-verbal self-expression. This may include use of social and digital media, music, etc. Do your own research by trying to understand the appeal of these alternative forms. You don't need to adopt their use but through understanding their importance you may reach common ground faster. 2. Pay attention to, and show an interest in, these more subtle forms of self-expression. 3. Try to reflect the emotion when you notice it, e.g. “I can see you’re upset or sad”. The use of digital check in apps can be helpful in framing this conversation. For example, see the AccessEAP EAP in Focus App Check In. 4. Validate their emotions, that is, let them know that there is no right or wrong when it comes to feelings. 5. Give them the choice or option to share with you. Discretion is important so giving an option of how they would like to share with you may also be important. 6. Choose a time when you are free to listen without distraction. 7. Select an environment that is safe and comfortable for them. 8. Avoid referring to your own past experiences or offering solutions, unless they ask you for this. Remember that every generation has had some reason to fear for it's young. Digital, connected mobile technology is today's but previously it was dancing like Elvis Presley or growing your hair like the Beatles! 9. Put assumptions aside and ask open questions about what they are experiencing. 10. Normalise help-seeking and self-disclosure as a coping mechanism. The EAP In Focus App provides an audio FAQ around what happens in a counselling session and why it can be helpful. This is a very non-confronting way to get this information across. |
If you would like to know more about these strategies and others, AccessEAP offers a free and confidential counselling service to all employees. Recognising the preference for different styles of communication; counselling is offered face to face, over the phone, by email or video chat at a convenient appointed time.
For further information please contact us on 1800 818 728.